Watch this ‘greaseproof’ Xbox One controller demonstration at your own risk

I am NOT okay

As part of a marketing promotion for PUBG, Microsoft has whipped up a super-limited-edition “greaseproof” Xbox One controller with a “patented coating that is resistant to chicken grease.”

That’s all well and good. It’s a silly idea, and I like that they went to the effort of seeing it through. What’s considerably less good is this video demonstration. It’s the stuff of my nightmares.

Damn my morbid curiosity. I feel like I need to scrub my hands, burn my clothes, and move into my shower. The controllers aren’t for sale, but Xbox Australia is holding a contest on its Facebook page.