This old PC sound card ad boasts audible urination

Between this and going back through the Voodoo ads, I’ve had my “extreme” fill for the week

I’m a simple man: I see an ad for an old PC sound card that says you can hear a robot “empty his bladder,” and I have to share it.

Unearthed by the Video Game History Foundation, which is the funniest possible place to share this crass ad, they showcase the classic 2000s PC gaming hardware tactic of “going extreme.” Alongside of the hardcore Voodoo graphics card ads were campaigns like this; trying to push people to buy sound cards (and any other PC peripheral that they could peddle).

This particular ad claims that other sound cards will let you “hear the [protagonist] empty his weapon,” but theirs (the Monster Sound MX400) will let you hear him “empty his bladder.” I really want to be a fly on the wall for some of these 90s/2000s ad exec meetings, if only to hear some person in a suit deadass sell higher-ups on the idea that gamers will love a mech suit who can piss.

So the game is 1999’s Slave Zero: an action shooter that actually still exists on Steam now. With over 22 years of technology behind you, I bet your sound card is advanced enough to hear him empty his bladder.

This ad from a 2000 issue of Game Developer magazine in the VGHF Library uses imagery from Accolade's Slave Zero to make an, uhh, dubious claim around PC sound card quality. pic.twitter.com/9YFYAiZ4hM

— Video Game History Foundation (@GameHistoryOrg) April 20, 2022