Nintendo updates Wii … with stuff you probably don’t care about.

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Wii users, expect an update next time you connect your console to that crazy little thing called the “internet.”

No, this is not the Opera Browser update; checking news and weather is still out of the question. This update is all about the parental controls, baby. While they were included out of the box, the update tweaks and refines them so that you can further hold down the man.

And by the man I mean everyone but you, of course. Because in my house, no one uses my Wii. I beat up a grandma so I could play Zelda. I’m very protective of my Wii.