Metal Gear Solid’s ‘5 stages’ of Fulton extraction

Getting flustered by a dialogue bark

Have you Fulton’d a bear yet? I got jumped by one in an early mission. Those growls before the attack were pretty terrifying. I sprinted in circles on the horse trying to tranq the thing and when I finally put it to sleep, of course I Fulton’d it, and it’s adorable (also, dangerous?) that the bear gets yanked up by one leg.

There is a very asymmetrical pattern to Fulton extraction in Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, though.

1) I am clearing outposts wholesale en route to missions. I creep, I interrogate, I choke, and I do this again. I search everywhere for cassette tapes because I somehow missed “Maneater” on this playthrough. If I am feeling impatient, I string together tranq headshots and skip the interrogation and sneakiness without triggering an alarm. I steal men, some women, guns, sheep, zebra. Soon I will be coming for your vehicles.

2) I hear, He’s coming to– over the radio. Panic. Did I forget to Fulton someone and they are waking up. Will I be found out, have I wasted 45 minutes of perfect stealth.

3) Actually, it was, He’s coming, too. Roger that. Phew. Safe.

4) Wait, what? Why not say this for every extraction. I am being judged? Did I kidnap a bad soldier? What is with that line reading. He’s coming, too?  or He’s coming, too. Am I being question directly or passively. Roger that. Oh, but now you’re going to abide by my authority, but not respect it?

5) Repeat step one, forgetting about 2-4, until you hear that damn line again.

Just me, probably.