Metacritic user reviews tear Diablo III apart

Anybody attempting to play Diablo III last night may have been disappointed to learn that the servers were down for a spell, meaning that even those who wanted to play solo were unable to log in and play. As outrage abounds over Diablo III‘s “always-on” requirement (and subsequent errors), gamers have done what they do best — they took to Metacritic’s user reviews.

At the time of writing, Diablo III has 1839 reviews and a score average of 3.5. As expected, the negative reviews focus on Blizzard’s DRM (or anti-cheating measure if you prefer), though a few twist the knife by damning its “cookie cutter” gameplay and “sloppy” graphics. 

“If Blizzard demands that the user have an active online connection. The user should be allowed to demand an active online connection,” wrote one review, quite elegantly. 

In most cases of Metabombing, I tend to side with the game, usually because the grievances are silly or presumptuous. In the case of Diablo III, however, I find it difficult to be angry at people who are upset because they bought a game and couldn’t play it. 

I understand people saying “Diablo III isn’t a single-player game,” but you know what? It’s not an MMO, either. It’s simply not cool to be unable to play a game you just purchased, all because Blizzard has a problem with cheaters and decided to let that problem affect everybody. 

In any case, here are a few highlight reviews from Metacritic, because whether they’re justified or not, they sure can be entertaining!

koroshiya_ichi:

A huge disappointment, and an unworthy sequel. – Charater customization was so confusing, so they removed it (no more skill points to distribute, no more attribute points to distribute, skills unlock automatically as you level up) – Legalized gold selling, pay-to-win auction houses – Scripted scenes EVERYWHERE 0Bland, one dimensional, WoW inspired skills -World PvP removed and the only PvP options is a WoW-clone arena (REMOVED TILL LATER, LOL) -Voice acting is HORIBBLE compared to D2 -Timed log-outs in a game which its gameplay is based on being fast-paced (even on hardcore mode) -FREQUENT CHECKPOINTS that revive you from where you are left off (how much more casual can they make a diablo game I wonder) -region lock, DRM that requires you to be constanly online -blizzard ‘promising’ not to put any items in the RMAH Gee, I **** wonder what’s gonna happen -LEVEL 60 CAP Surely to be raised to 70,80,90 and so on with yearly expansions that consists of cut content for only another $60!

Psychodrake:

Where do I start. Graphics – Woah. One of the biggest developers in the world can’t even deliver a game that looks half decent. What is the bloody industry coming to. Not even Blizzard care about taking steps forward with technology. The game suffers from low-res textures, low-poly models and some of the sloppiest animation work I have ever witnessed. Sound – Redeeming feature. I gave the game a 2 just because the soundtrack is good. Story – Nothing special, beaten already… Where did all that development time go? Forced DRM – Nothing can excuse the trouble people had playing the game they paid for. This is a disgusting practice that needs to go. I can’t say much more. The game is the embodiment of disappointment.

Strytec:

I give this game a solid 1. And thats being fairly generous. From a long legacy of brilliant games which truly defined RPG games, D3 has reduced the series to something else, its not the game it should be. Its overly simplified to the point where you could most likely teach a chimpanzee to play it. On the opening day, its riddled with errors, which normally would be expected but not from blizzard who run the biggest MMOs in the world. SC2 and WoW. This is a game which was developed for 10 years, I feel I could have gotten a degree in software writing, rendering, modelling and texturing and made a better game in the same timeframe. The lack of single player feels stingy and irritating, as the previous 2 games were primarily based on single player. The cash shop allows players to pay to win, the annoying thing is of course that you cannot choose to not play with these people as there is no singleplayer, playing the game requires you remain online. Similarly, the feel of the game, that is, the music, the texturing etc isn’t in a unique style. Personally it feels cartoonish and unrealistic, so much so that the 128 colour graphics of d2 are more realistic. The music feels like they were trying to improve on a masterpiece by rewriting Tristram’s theme. If you have played Diablo 1 or 2. DO NOT BUY THIS GAME. If you haven’t and this is your first game ever, there’s a good chance you may enjoy it. 

Zelda-not-waifu:

Only weed smoking Great Gatsby haters could like this pay to win garbage with **** servers casualised diablo from blizzard/activision rip off merchants.

Ashin:

If you want a watered down, pay2win piece of junk, Diablo 3 is just the ultimate game in this regards. Don’t expect to find a game reminiscent of the jewels such as Diablo 1+2 (actually made by different people). Only saving grace is… no wait I can’t think of one.

Dodzylla:

Worst diablo i ever played, short and booring. “fail blizzard has so mutch time to make this game good i but they chose their time to makes it boring “

Proballerism:

What a steaming pile of **** I’m glad I didn’t preorder this and waited to see it in action before buying. Hurr durr GOTY GOTY GOTY ITS THE BEST. BLIZZDRONES ACTIVATE

le_monk:

helo i this this game is bad caus le monky fa, and not gut pvp n stuf so i hop it be beter soon so i can buy and pley this game pls no buy it no good now