In Ketsu Battler, you put a Joy-Con in your pants and shake your butt to fight

Motion controls have been put to a lot of different uses over the years, some more interesting than others. One upcoming use is a cut — or a butt — above the rest. Ketsu Battler (Butt Battler) is a one-on-one fighter that has you popping your Joy-Con in your pants and shaking your butt to fight your friends. 

Ketsu Battler comes as a collaboration between KAYAC and CoroCoro Comic (via Gematsu). It’s currently set to launch digitally on Switch via the Nintendo eShop in Japan on December 12, 2024. If anyone else in the world has respect for doing stupid things with their friends, this will hopefully be released elsewhere with the quickness.

If you think playing this in person with others sounds joyously awkward, it looks just as bizarre on screen. You can see a sample in a video from the official X (formerly Twitter) account below.

As silly as the gameplay looks, you might still be wondering what you’ll look like playing. The best approximation can be found in the image below, which shows two players, butts outstretched toward one another, Joy-Cons firmly clamped in their elastic waistbands. 

The battles themselves mostly seem to involve shaking your booty to swing a weapon. Once you have enough power built up, you’ll be able to thrust your butt for a special attack. Back in 2016, there was an anime adaptation of Daichi Sorayomi’s Keijo!!!!!!!! manga, which involves a sport in which women use their butts and boobs to attempt to knock their opponent into the water. The fact that this technology wasn’t used for a Keijo!!!!!!!! game is tragic. And yes, all eight exclamation points aren’t just warranted, they’re required by law.

For now, we’ll have to be satisfied with what Ketsu Battler is and, most importantly, what it could become. In a perfect world, we’ll all be battling booties with buddies in the not-so-distant future.