When Microsoft and Square Enix revealed that Final Fantasy XIII was heading to the Xbox 360, it was made somewhat clear that the latest main entry in Squeenix’s venerable RPG series was to remain a PS3 exclusive outside of America and Europe. Well, just in case anyone absolutely cared, Taiwan will also be getting a version for the Xbox 360.

Now … when I saw this story, with its grandiose headline of:

Final Fantasy XIII Xbox 360 Asia Version Announced!

I thought to myself: “Ooh, it’s coming to Asian 360s after all? That could make for an interesting story,” only to fall into Kotaku’s sneaky Heffalump trap and realize I’d committed myself to writing about Taiwan. Frigging Taiwan.  I’m writing about complete and utter rubbish now. I could have been drinking coffee or playing with myself, but instead I’m writing about Taiwan. 

You win again, Ashcraft, you book-writing tosspot. You win again.