Doom Eternal takes 18 seconds before it tells you to rip and tear

Slow by comparison!

Doom Eternal wastes very little time before giving your broad instructive for all this hell slaying. 18 seconds is all it takes before you’re told “rip and tear, until it is done.”

Still, this is remarkably somehow almost twice as much dawdling as 2016’s Doom. That game took a crisp 10 seconds before it dropped “rip and tear, until it is done.” In this high-profile role reprisal, the narrator thinks he’s a star who’s entitled to a long-winded soliloquy. Someone rip and tear this jamoke.

An alternate headline would’ve been “Doom is so goddamn cool,” because that’s all I could think while watching the first 10 minutes. Everything’s so stupidly stylish — like the way Doomslayer kicks down a door, rushes toward a Hell Priest, and the squeezes his head ’til it pops off. For all the demons that are slaughtered, the best moment might come in observing the Godzilla-sized beast that Doomslayer decides to deal with later.

Doom Eternal is going to rip and it’s going to tear. It’s going to bang and it’s going to slap. Insert whatever cool-sounding verb you want. It’s going to rule.