Going HAMzo
Hello! Xeo, your resident filthy Hanzo main and metalhead, here! So, this is the maiden voyage of this little ship known as the Comments of the Week blog from yours truly. As such, please excuse anything that comes off wonky. But that said I think we can all agree that we collectively have some genuine golden moments here within the community. I hope to highlight some standouts for you!
I know some of you out there still play Overwatch. You probably already cringed when I mentioned being a Hanzo main. Also a good chance you’re regularly bitching about Brigitte being a wee bit broken right now, just like I do. So with that, let us begin!
Xeo: Brigitte sure has proven herself a bit of an issue. No one can say her name correctly, no one can reliably counter her, and now some people are even confusing her with prison food!
Xeo: I think the Korean crossover is a bigger deal, but then again I’m an old man and don’t understand these young whippersnappers and their Fortnite. That said, I do understand a good inside joke when I see one!
Xeo: And here I thought I was the only person around who just ate his warranty seal stickers. These wily manufacturers have to quit enticing me by making them less tasty.
Xeo: Cap’n is just trying his best to bring the masses some good ol’ fashioned, healthy American cereal. He puts his pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us. Still, that is a pretty big goof, right? Wait…why are we talking about cereal again here?
Xeo: I guess it could but the conversion rates are probably gonna be hell. Hey, you get what you pay for though, right? Please understand!
Xeo: So on a scale of Cardboard out of 10, how would you rate this game? Besides that, it’s only colorless brown if you don’t shell out for the official Nintendo Labo Customization Set, for an additional $9.99 — duh!
Xeo: The comments in this article quickly came to a crescendo! But you gotta appreciate that attention to detail on BioWare’s part! Anthem could really become the new standard for games as a disservice!
Xeo: Overwatch is really going balls out with these charitable skins! But seriously, this one is for a really good cause and while this was funny, I wanted to highlight this also for awareness.
Xeo: Ba dum tss! Perhaps it’s time for another reload of this series?
Xeo: This is kind of the Nintendo way — they’ve built the past few years on a foundation of room-temperature iron. Perhaps that’s why the last generation collapsed so quickly for them? But hey, better late than never. At least now the fans won’t have to be up in ARMS!
Xeo: I’m more of a DD or maybe even DDD cup kinda guy, myself. But all the fighters in Super Smash Bra are beautiful in their own way. The game is kind of unbalanced though.
Xeo: With enough practice in the Art of Fighting, you could become the King of Fighters! Yataze, OYAJI!!! – This comment has been approved by Dan Hibiki and the foundation of Saikyo “Ultimate” Style martial arts!
Xeo: Shovelry is not just a fancy word with a neat meaning; it’s a way of life. – Vaughn Ripley
Xeo: It’s funny because that’s what my wife says when she watches me play Overwatch. Also Reinhardt ain’t no one-hitter-quitter! He keeps going until EVERYONE is satisfied!
Xeo: You guys are just too punny! Me, personally, I was never interested in this particular game. I guess you could say the writing was on the wall.
Xeo: Switch port is today! Is good, you buy! Yay!
Xeo: I aim to please! Besides, I have to agree. Geralt is a fine gentleman of taste and class, goddammit.
Xeo: This was a thing that happened, and I for one love you for it, Kevin! Besides it only makes sense that POD makes a comeback now with the kids — they need an anthem for all those Tide Pod buffets.
Xeo: I almost spit a mouthful of tea out when I read this one. Nothing witty I say here is going to compare.
Xeo: I think we need to sit down and discuss this over a drink.
Xeo: That plan probably isn’t worth your time.
Xeo: I promised myself I wouldn’t feature any of my own comments here out of principle. And I kept my word, because then I remembered, I didn’t post that anyway. That was all Charlie Chucklefish Cheeseburger. So Sabrina Sassafras Salami, meet Triple C. I’m hungry now.
Xeo: I’m hoping this will be the sentiment of you folks after finishing up my blog this week.
Well guys and gals, it’s been fun. I’m honored to have brought this to your viewing pleasure this week. Thanks everyone, I hope you enjoy these as much as I did! And if you didn’t, blame the tank. See you all again in the future!
PS: I really am a Hanzo main, sorry, not sorry.
Published: May 17, 2018 06:00 pm