Blair Witch in VR is gonna be a big nope nope nope nope hell nope from me

They never make VR games about kitten adoption agencies

It’s tough to imagine a pop culture adaption for VR that’s better suited than The Blair Witch Project. A movie seen entirely through a shaky first-person perspective fits perfectly into VR’s wheelhouse of immersive shaky first-person perspectives. It’s a match made in heaven, but only if heaven has abandoned hell cabins full of ritualistic murder. It probably doesn’t.

Bloober Team’s Blair Witch is being brought to the new Oculus Quest later this month. Blair Witch: Oculus Quest Edition is an adaption that adds a bunch of VR functionality to last year’s game. Bloober goes so far as to say it’s “rebuilt.”

Here’s the list of bullet-pointed new features from the press release:

• New ways to interact with your sidekick, Bullet
• Newly-designed interactive environments to immerse you in terror
• Catch, throw, and stack objects that you find throughout the woods 
• Map out your theories with an interactive marker to draw on paper and other objects
• Drawers, doors, gates, and car trunk open at your touch in your investigation
• Snap branches with your hands
• Operate handles and buttons and unlock doors with keys and codes plan escapes
• New control system optimized for horrifying VR gameplay
• Eerie new sounds and spine-chilling in-game events to surprise and scare players
• Additional encounters with the mysterious forces that lurk in the forest

Blair Witch: Oculus Quest Edition launches on Oculus Quest (duh) on October 29 for $30. It’s coming to additional unnamed VR platforms a few months later.

I’d like to revisit that first paragraph real quick. Cloverfield is the ideal VR pop culture adaption. Please make a Cloverfield VR game.