All Shiny Eeveelutions in Pokemon GO, ranked

Darlings, I come to you from the fashion capital of the Pokemon GO world, Lumiose City. Here, a Pokemon isn’t simply a beast to be used in battles amongst the common rabble. Instead, they’re praised for their poise and appearance. From the softest Wooloo to the most festive Quaquaval, we here know what makes a Pokemon shine.

I suppose it’s fitting that “Shiny” Pokemon variants are the very embodiment of that. Of the hundreds that compete in our city, the Eeveelutions are some of the strongest competitors. But, how do the best of the best rank amongst one another? What makes one Eevee rise above all else?

The best Shiny Eeveelutions in Pokemon GO

8. Flareon

Sweet baby Flareon, no. Simply not. This shiny version is not worthy of the title, as your otherwise fiery fur looks like an undercooked version of a regular Flareon coat. Distinct you are not, and the subtlety is entirely lost. When I must question my keen eyes as to your very status as a Shiny Pokemon, that immediately disqualifies you from any such “best of” consideration.

7. Glaceon

Glaceon, were you not listening to the quite severe tongue-lashing I just gave your compatriot, Flareon? Turning down your brightness is literally the exact opposite of being a Shiny. Are we certain your trainer just didn’t bathe you, and this light coating of dirt is only a bald-faced lie? No. Disqualified. Consider seven and eight tied for dead last.

6. Leafeon

I was disappointed in the previous two Eeeveelutions and now I’m steering into the choppy seas of anger. Saying this slightly darker Leafeon is a Shiny is akin to saying my cousin, Felipe, is a Shiny after his holiday to Sunyshore City in Sinnoh. Would someone from security come to escort these charlatans from our illustrious competition before they sully it with their falsehoods?

5. Jolteon

Finally! This is clearly a shiny Pokemon! Rather than the vivid yellow that embodies the very lightning from which its powers spring, Jolteon has opted for a striking Khaki, or Yellow Green. Does it make any sense? Not in the least, but I’ll take it after the previous three imposters. Jolteon is at least a real upgrade from the others.

4. Espeon

Espeon, my dear, have you been drinking from a less-diluted source of the water Jolteon had gotten into? Eschewing the not-so-subtle pink which naturally fits with its psychic powers, the shiny Espeon channels its inner Hulk with this shade of Green, Inch Worm, or Lightgreen. It’s distinctive and boring all the same.

3. Vaporeon

This Vaporeon has been imbued with the spirit of what it means to be a shiny Pokemon. This sleek Plum or Mauve coat immediately catches the eye with its sheer exuberance. Rather than making me stop and question the color choice, I’m instead enthralled with the composition and the way it elicits feelings of excitement. I find myself genuinely torn as to which version of Vaporeon I prefer after seeing this remarkable coloration.

2. Sylveon

Sometimes the most exciting change can come from a simple palette swap. This shiny Sylveon commits to the idea without going too far by replacing the white coat with a black one, which would only dull the pastel highlights. This retains the same feeling of lightness while adding a visual distinction. If I were to have a Sylveon, I would insist on having two, in both regular and Shiny variants simply to appreciate the contrast.

1. Umbreon

As we say in Lumiose City, “We’ll wear black until something darker comes along.” The shiny Umbreon challenges that belief by trading its black coat and red eyes for Gray or Dimgray and striking yellow eyes. We get so caught up in ourselves and stick to darker shades that we can lose appreciation for subtlety and comfort in mid-tones. Rather than the emphasis being placed on the yellow markings against a black coat, we can appreciate the blue highlights for what they are without disregard for the base. Truly, the shiny Umbreon is the standout in this competition and the best among Eevee’s Shiny evolutions.