Adventures in realistic Mario stuff: Goomba

At first glance, the final realistic Mario ornament in the three-piece set from artist Kalapusa might not seem so disturbing. Sure, it’s got an insane look in its eye, but the slightly silly, slightly menacing look from the NES games is still present.

Nothing too shocking … or is it?

While I still think the Super Mushroom’s blank stare and wrinkly face is messed up on so many levels, this realistic Goomba shares a sick secret. The thing has got a butt. No, really. It does. This changes everything.

Excuse me while I go scrub the evil off of my skin.