Valve cancels Portal 2 press event at E3 and it’s amazing

I’m deep in E3 planning, so when any one event gets canceled or shuffled, I’m not entirely pleased. But Valve, it can do whatever it wants.

See, it had a Portal 2 press conference event taking place on Monday, June 14. Now it’s not happening; it’s been canceled. Valve says that it has replaced the event with a “surprise,” but doesn’t go into any details. I’ll find out, I’m sure — I’m already penciled in to see Portal 2 (and whatever else they’d like to show me — begin speculation now) behind-closed-doors.

But why is this so amazing? It’s how they canceled it. The full email, in all of its glory, after the jump.

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Subject: A note from Aperture Science

Dear Subject Name Here,
 
Aperture Science is pleased to inform you that we have partnered with Valve to announce the gala CANCELLATION of the June 14 Portal 2 event at the Regal Theater. The event will be replaced by a surprise. And even though the cancellation of the event certainly counts as a surprise, we are pleased to further announce that the cancellation of the event is not THE surprise. However, per International treaties regarding the definition of the word “surprise”, of which both Aperture Science and Valve are signatories, the time, date and content of the actual surprise will only become available as you experience the surprise.
 
If you’d like to ask fruitless questions about the E3 Portal 2 surprise or, more fruitfully, schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve’s Special Envoy to Surprises, Doug Lombardi.
 
Thank you for <<RECORD SCRATCH!!!>>
 
PS: The surprising record scratch is also not the surprise.