How do you even remaster Tomb Raider: The Angel Of Darkness?

I’m pretty hyped for the recently-announced Tomb Raider IV-VI remasters by Aspyr, but maybe not for the healthiest of reasons.

Many years of surviving disappointing video game releases forced me to evolve into a state where I enjoy masterpieces and absolute train wrecks all the same. To me, the only bad game is a formulaic and uneventful one. In case you’re wondering, I loved the original batch of remasters from Tomb Raider I-III Remastered Trilogy because they provide competent and surprisingly soulful ways to play amazing classics. The second trilogy, however, will require more than just good polishing.

I know Aspyr will pull off IV and V, The Last Revelations and Chronicles, respectively. Tough task, as that’s where the series began to falter. IV was the first entry to tinker a bit with the formula, which was good for the most part, but it also began introducing a few areas too large to allow for fun exploration. V was but a collection of levels not good enough to fit in the other entries. Still, fans will likely enjoy just getting to re-play these two in higher res for nostalgia’s sake, if nothing else.

What I cannot fathom is how you’d polish such a broken and straight-up unfinished game as Angel of Darkness into something unironically enjoyable – and I’m all here for it.

If you’re new to the series, you must know that The Angel Of Darkness was, sadly, the last game in the series Core Design ever got to work on. It came out in a very poor state after years-on-end of increasingly egregious studio demands and poor design choices began taking a toll on the Tomb Raider dev team.

The Angel Of Darkness begins in a small alley where you’re supposed to learn some of the game’s all-new ropes. This alley features a dog chained to a wall. Coming in contact with the dog will cause Lara to immediately die. This is the worst dog in video game history, but also one of the best ways of preparing players for what’s to come.

In the alley, you’ll learn Lara has the same moves, but we now have a hybrid alternative to the original tank controls. Lara now moves in whatever direction you move your analog stick to, but in an extremely clunky and unpredictable way. Among the game’s many problems, this is by far the most disrupting one and will inevitably result in a ragequit-worthy amount of missed jumps. Luckily, it’s likely the easiest one to fix. I’m pretty sure Aspyr will pass this challenge with flying colors just by looking at how well the studio dealt with the new optional control type introduced in the first remaster.

Most other problems, however, come from terrible design choices. The game features incredibly dull dialogue sequences where Lara will have to talk, not shoot, characters into doing her bidding, awful stealth, a baffling lack of tombs, and even light RPG elements still heavy enough to cripple the entire experience. Yes; if you don’t know or don’t recall, this is the game where Lara, who’d been a world-class athlete for her past decade, will sometimes require players to perform three more jumps and two pull ups just so she gets strong enough to clear one humiliatingly simple climbing section in the game.

The remaining problems stem from the game just not being finished. Aspyr cannot fix code that doesn’t exist, and it’s unfair to expect the studio to fill in the gaps in a remaster. Angel Of Darkness features unfinished mechanics, bug-riddled gameplay, and is missing not only entire levels but even story-relevant cutscenes.

Any fan who picked up Angel Of Darkness would be up to a rough start as the game begins without providing any explanation as to why Lara is alive after having been crushed to death at the end of The Last Revelation. Players will likely feel even more puzzled by the end of the game, as they come to the realization that no explanation will ever be given.

We only got to learn via a deleted cutscene that it turns out Lara was revived by a Shaman in Egypt:

But that was pretty dumb, so it’s almost better it got left out.

This one would likely be best suited for a remake, ironically a treatment only games that already came out in a decent state and sold a bunch of copies ever get. Still, I don’t know how deep into its cursed code Aspyr bravely dove to try and fix AOD, so it might turn out to be the most surprisingly awesome remaster of all time. I’m sure to enjoy it either way.