Team 17 has announced Sassy Chap Gamesā sandbox dating sim Date Everything. All of my best dates have been in a sandbox. Itās coming to Xbox Series X|S, PS5, Switch, and PC eventually. No release date was given.
Youāve dated people before, but have you dated a vacuum cleaner? No, waitā¦ Donāt answer that. I donāt want to know. Letās just move on.
Date Everything is a dating sim where you walk around your house dating your furniture and appliances. This is enabled by a pair of tacky specs that personify your belongings. Your belongings are all DTF and have their own personalities and backstory with three endings apiece. Thankfully, the house in Date Everything isnāt nearly as cluttered as my apartment. Like most dating sim protagonists, they clearly have no personality whatsoever and have decorated accordingly. An empty existence for an empty soul, but at least it keeps their furniture-dating life reasonably simple.
All your furniture is depicted as a diverse and sexy line-up of characters. Certainly, youāll find someone in the mix that youāll mesh with, but I think Iād be crushed if I didnāt find my couch attractive. I guess thatās why they say you shouldnāt meet your heroes. I have the ideal concept of my couch in my head already, and if it doesnāt actually align with that, it will leave me jaded and disappointed.
This is a writing project I wish I was in on. I worked on a project some years ago (that hasnāt been announced and was maybe canceled, I donāt know), and one of my contributions was making the side characters datable. It was more of optional side-missions than dating sim style dating since that would have been way out of scope, but the ambition was there.
On the other hand, Destructoid alumni James Stephanie Sterling has revealed that theyāre part of Date Everythingās writing team. Thatās pretty rad, but now I get to stew in jealousy.
Date Everything is coming to Xbox Series X|S, PS5, Switch, and PC. No release window has been stated.
Published: Jul 26, 2024 10:32 am