Study says videogames are to blame for back trouble

Before we get started, I would like to note that naively searching “back trouble” on Google Images yields some unexpected results after a few pages. Anyway, a study conducted by a Queensland, Australia chiropractor has shown a dramatic increase in the number of children showing signs of spinal curvature. She’s calling for Scoliosis screening to be reinstated in schools, and blames the problem on videogames; primarily handheld systems.

Unfortunately, the study does little to show what caused innumerable cases of the same condition for the thousands of years prior to the invention of the Game Boy. The chiropractor notes that handhelds force children to hunch over with their heads down in order to play, which actually makes perfect sense. That’s horrid posture, and if your kids are under the age of ten or eleven when their bones set, they should probably sit up a little straighter. Or stop playing so many videogames.

While you’re at it, you can have them knock off the book reading. And playing with Legos. And drawing. And clipping their own toenails. And homework. And tying their shoes. Petting cats or small dogs. Normal life is bad for your health.