God of War III is too violent for the Internet, Sony says

The Internet is home to videos where a man shatters a mason jar inside his own rectum, and yet Sony has the nerve to tell us that God of War III is too extreme for the Internet. Unless Kratos defecates into a cup and starts eating it while fisting the Numa Numa guy, I think Sony is taking the piss.

Nevertheless, Sony is claiming that current game images are simply too graphic for any gaming news site to post, thanks in part to new technology that puts independent intestines inside of character models, allowing them to freely spill everywhere once Kratos disembowels them. This little trick is known as “Zipper Technology,” which is really quite vivid once you think about it. 

Zipper Tech was due to be shown off in a new GoW III trailer, but Sony apparently cut it after deciding we couldn’t handle the brutality. Come on Sony, we’re hardcore gamers — we’ve witnessed every sordid sex act ever to be performed in front of a camera, and stared, mouth agape, at pictures of what may or may not be Hitler’s corpse. We can handle a few digital pooptubes, methinks. 

In other news, I need to play this game.