Mushroom Kingdom Hearts is an old April Fools’ I still wish was real

I was in the passenger seat of my cousin’s Mazda 3 as we sat in the drive-thru line at Whataburger. To pass the time, I thought to do what anyone else would do in my position — explain the ever-complicated lore of Kingdom Hearts. It should be stated that my cousin is in his early 20s’ and hasn’t seen or heard anything about this franchise since he watched me play Kingdom Hearts II back in 2006.

You can imagine the look of horror on his face as I break down — game-by-game — a very abridged summary of what happens in Kingdom Hearts. It was a very entertaining car ride. But then, he asked me a question that took me by surprise: ‘do you remember Mushroom Kingdom Hearts?’

That’s a very good question. Do you?

The crossover of all time

Mushroom Kingdom Hearts was an April Fools’ prank pulled by Electronic Gaming Monthly (EGM) in their April 2007 issue. It was slated as a brand new spinoff or sequel to Kingdom Hearts in the era between Kingdom Hearts II and 358/2 Days. The associated article boasted that “over 41 Nintendo characters” would be joining the already stacked roster. 

I recall being a dumb little child, seeing this, and actually believing it was real. And here I am, a dumb, fully-grown adult using my position as a writer for Destructoid to tell you that I still wish it was real. To add, I believe we have never been in a better position to make Mushroom Kingdom Hearts real.

I’ll start with the most obvious point in favor of this Disney x Square Enix x Nintendo polyamorous triad: as of late, it seems as if the series is somehow re-entering the realm of video games. In Kingdom Hearts III, the Toy Box world features advertisements for a game called Verum Rex, and the main character of this game, Yozora, is very much tied to Sora in some way. If Tetsuya Nomura is planning to take a video game character and throw him into the world of another video game character, he could just as easily let Sora team up with Mario and Luigi to defeat a heartless Bowser. It’s a scenario simply begging to happen.

Also, it’s not as if Mario hasn’t been making some cross-dimensional moves lately. The fact that Mario + Rabbids is now a franchise is proof enough of that. If that’s allowed to exist, there is no reason at all that we can’t toss Sora, Donald and Goofy into a world based on Splatoon or Donkey Kong where they become giant anime monkeys or inklings. Can you imagine a boss battle with a heartless Mr. Grizz? Or, maybe King K. Rool gets tempted to embrace the darkness by Maleficent and Pete? I’m salivating.

I know some readers might be inclined to point out that Disney and Nintendo are both notoriously protective of their IP, and wouldn’t let this crossover happen in a million years. But, hear me out: the two companies have already worked together to bring Sora to Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, so the precedent for collaboration is already there. Also, Square and Nintendo have a rich history of teaming up to bring us titles such as Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars and the early days of the Final Fantasy series.

I know that it’s very unlikely this will ever happen, let alone be considered by the powers that be. But, that won’t stop me from saying that it absolutely should happen. Mushroom Kingdom Hearts is such an excellent crossover idea for a series of which the foundation is a crossover.

But, more than that, it’s such a brilliant prank that I completely forgot about until it came bubbling back to the surface whilst at Whataburger. I suppose all I’m saying is that, with Kingdom Hearts 4 coming soon — or, before I become geriatric, at least — it’s not entirely impossible to make a trip down the warp pipe to let Sora, Donald, and Goofy meet Mario, Luigi, and Toad.