Tacky old porn sim fluffed for PC re-release

What the hell, 1998?

I dislike this art sooo much. It doesn’t look like an anime at all. But seriously, at least aim for Heavy Metal, right? This is 1998. Leisure Suit Larry did a better job 10 years earlier on noticeably more restricted tech. Hell, Softporn II was hotter and it’s a text adventure with lines like, “deep red, granite hard nipples.”

Lula: The Sexy Empire, recently revived on The Artist Formerly Known as GoodOldGames (GOG) (and itself formerly known as Wet – The Sexy Empire), is an unearthed bit of historical titillation, though the latter wasn’t its exclusive aim as The Sexy Empire doubles as a business sim wherein you manage a porn studio. It’s a nude Chroma Squad, or a deck of “raunchy” playing cards with nude torsos on each one. Got to imagine there are better porn games out there, not that I would know, as a family man.

The $6 release (hah!) is currently split (hah!) between 5 star and 1 star user reviews at the moment, so there are definitely people out there not aghast at the art that looks like fan art of Homer of banging Maude. You’ll probably find more bang (hah!) for your buck elsewhere, but game restoration’s always good, so we don’t lose items like this to the annals (hah!) of history.

In fact, just play that lesbian ghost game, it looks pretty good!