Nintendo denies Metroid Dread poppycock

Despite rumors and speculation surrounding a possible 2D bounty-hunter adventure called Metroid Dread, Nintendo has other plans. Take not making a 2D Metroid game, for instance. How’s that for a good plan?

Straight and to the point, from Computer and Video Games:

“Nintendo is not making the 2D Metroid at this point in time,” Nintendo told CVG.

Oh, good. That’s great. Well, at least that’ll free up Nintendo’s devs to spend some quality time making the games gamers want to play. Like crossword puzzle titles and fourteen Brain Age spin-offs. Because, you know, the readers of Martha Stewart Living would never be able to wrap their heads around a 2D Metroid title, so what’s the point?

Maybe Nintendo will hear our exassperated sighs and change its mind. Or hey, I hear online petitions work.