A la cartridge: Dragon’s Crown pork monster

Come see my Dragon’s Crowning achievement: A dumb cooking show

Food is good. Videogames are good. Food inspired by videogames are doubleplusgood. It’s simple science. Science and art. I would like to humbly present the first episode of Steven Hansen’s À la cartridge, a straightforward cooking show where I teach you how to make tasty things and talk about the games that inspire them. 

In my quest to become the Alton Brown of videogames, will I become videogames’ Guy Fieri? Will I remember to get a knife sharpener so I don’t swear into the camera when I cut myself? Will the sorceress in Dragon’s Crown invest in proper bust support to nip future back problems in the bud? 

Find out by watching the inaugural episode, in which I cook a gigantic pork shoulder and rosemary potatoes (full recipe below). And tell me what I can do to improve. What upcoming games might you want to see a dish for?

Dragon’s Crown pork monster

Ingredients:

• Salt, pepper
• Pork shoulder (on the bone)
• 1 white onion
• 1 carrot
• 1 celery stalk
• 1 small can of tomato paste
• 1 cup of red wine
• Minced garlic
• 2 cups of beef stock

Instructions:

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

Rub your meat with salt and pepper, coating evenly. Heat up a pan. Sear the meat for about one minute on each side.

Remove the meat from the pan. Pour wine in the pan, scraping up burnt on bits of flavor. Let the wine boil for a bit. Add carrot, celery, onion, all chopped to equal proportions.

Cook the vegetables for about 5 minutes. Add minced garlic, tomato paste. Mix. Add beef stock.

Transfer the liquid and vegetables into a large, oven safe receptacle. Submerge the pork as deeply as possible. Let it cook in the oven for 2 hours.

Side option: Rosemary potatoes

Ingredients:

• Potatoes
• Olive oil
• Minced garlic
• Minced rosemary 
• Salt, pepper

Instructions:

Cut the potatoes into equal-sized pieces. Quartering works for small potatoes.

Toss in a mixture of olive oil, minced rosemary, minced garlic, salt, pepper.

Place on a pan and put in the oven for 1 hour, or until potatoes are a desirable softness on the inside. To brown the outside, you can set the oven to broil and cook a bit longer, but be mindful they don’t burn.