Yoyoyo! Why is this normally Tuesday article a day late? Because last week’s Diablo II versus StarCraft battle was epic! Before reading the brutal Blizzard battle below, make sure you read this: in this week’s game debate — all you have to do is vote for your favorite game EVAR! A Mario game? Maybe a Final Fantasy title? A Legend of Zelda game in the Hyrule hizz-ouse? An Atari game perhaps? Even those calculator games you geeks passed on to others back in math class count for this debate — ANY video game. Just vote for your favorite game of all time to wrap up this year’s Tuesday Game Debate articles, and I’ll count up all the votes and tell you all the winners next week to bring in the new year.
So there’s no reason each and every single one of you readers shouldn’t cast a vote! There’s no losers among gamers, just have fun, take a trip back down memory card road, and cast your votes.
Ok! Now for the main event! Our Blizzard Battle of 2006 has come to an end and the voting is over. Much like the Rocky series that has, thankfully, finally come to an end, it was a long and gruesome battle. First Warcraft II went the distance against the first and third game in its series, then StarCraft came from out of nowhere like a Russian beast and tore WarCreed to shreads. World of Warcraft tried to be Tommy Gunn tough guy, but Diablo II KO’d the MMORPG in one round.
With just StarCraft and Diablo II left in the ring, many Dtoiders were shaking in both awe and fear. Both were beasts in their different release eras, but both have refused to ever retire, with countless fans still playing their games often to this day. I counted up the votes and could tell that making a choice wasn’t easy for many of you. So to ease the pain that recent Rocky Balboa viewers felt after paying for the worst fight scene in the entire Rocky series, I’ll give you all the play by play of the final round in this fight. Hit the jump to read vote by vote how the fight went down before finding out the winner.
Ding! Ding! Ding!!
The bell rings and StarCraft and Diablo II come out swinging. BOOM! Headshot! 3-1 votes as Diablo II delivers the first blow. StarCraft stumbles from D2‘s WarCraft wolloping right hook, followed by a quick left jab, followed by another huge right hook. BOOM! No headshot! StarCraft dodged the Baal blow and unleashes a fiendish reaver round of reaches to Diablo II‘s mid-section to take an early lead as the 5-9 votes rise in its favor. The clock’s ticking as the two continue. BOOM! Headshot and the first blood! D2 caught SC off guard and delivers three huge hooks to the hydralisk, pushing its opponent further back with each broodish blow. 6-9, 7-9, 8-9, Diablo II is laying on the hurt and StarCraft resorts to a grapple until the ref breaks it up. Blizzard blood is spewing from StarCraft‘s terran teeth, but the ref isn’t allowed to stop the fight until just one game is left spinning in the disc tray.
Diablo II comes back with an expansion of effort, but each click bounces off of StarCraft as the RTS returns each punch. With the Lord of Destruction‘s back up against the corner, the zerg rush comes in with each unit delivering one uppercut after another. D2 escapes but StarCraft pulls it back into the corner — one vote, another, another, another, another — BOOM! Headshot! Diablo II goes down! One! Two! Three! Four! And Diablo II gets up with a huge gash above its eye. The ref holds up one finger and asks D2 how many he sees. “I see three campaigns of pain!” And the fight continues with StarCraft looking better than ever.
The two opponents dance around each other like secret cow level targets and StarCraft taunts the weakened opponent: “It took you 4 counts to get up? I ‘ve done quicker Meph rushes, bitch!” Diablo II‘s hotter than a firebat now, and with StarCraft‘s guard down, D2 slips off his glove — what’s that?! Beneath the glove are 5 SOJ’s on its knuckles and D2 delivers a knockout that not even a necro could save. One! Two! Three! Four! The votes just keep coming! Five! Six! Sev — and he’s up! StarCraft is up and alive! Folks, I’ve never seen this many votes in a row! StarCraft is gonna need a new map-maker to rebuild its face after that blow — blood is everywhere! The ref couldn’t even get him to count his raised fingers, the RTS game looks unfazed — no it doesn’t, it looks as pissed off as a Protoss parent on prom night.
The PC punches are flying in all directions, it’s just a matter of time before one of them delivers the final blow. An arsenal of archon jabs is followed by a series of sorceress swings. Not a tiger’s eye in the room is blinking as each opponent brings out the best in Blizzard. And there it is! There it is! One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! “Yo Barbarian!” Nine! — and it’s over! Ladies, gentlemen, and peons — we have a WINNER!
One game has finally prevaled after weeks of votes as the winner of Destructoid’s Blizzard Battle of 2006. Thanks to everyone who voted! Congratulations to everyone one of you who have played either of these two great games. And the winner is . . .
- Diablo II – 23 votes
- StarCraft – 30 votes – winner!
Thanks again to all who voted! Make sure you vote for the game you enjoyed more than any other game ever, and check back next week to see how many people agreed with you or disagreed. Don’t be afraid to get all emotional on us either — tell us why your favorite game of all time makes you cry just when thinking about it, and what exactly it is that ranks it above all other games in youyr opinion.
See you all her next week – Happy New Years everyone!
Published: Dec 27, 2006 05:46 pm