Nobody likes ads these days, but Sony’s amazing commercials did a great job of selling me on the original PlayStation way back then.
They really did bring us to a completely different place — sometimes to the point of not feeling like ads at all. Luckily, Sony even inspired the competition to also make spectacularly weird commercials. So, let’s look at some of the few ads in history to have artistic value and thank video games for their existence.
Mental Wealth (PS1)
The most disturbing piece of PlayStation advertisement is likely this very simple interview with a teenage girl from Scotland. The Chris Cunningham-directed ad just shows a girl going on what’s either a nonsensical tirade or a visionary speech about mental wealth.
There’s something really unsettling about this girl. Maybe she seems a little alien, probably due to her Scottish accent, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Whatever it is, please watch until the end, because her laughter is the stuff of legends.
No one born in the ’00s will ever be able to understand what it was to have this popping on your TV back in ’95. Great times.
This is the ad that convinced none other than David Lynch to direct the PS2 ad below.
Welcome to the third space (PS2)
You’d think that, to David Lynch, the PlayStation’s strangest ad would be yet another normal thing he’d be nonplussed about. You’d be wrong. Even Lynch loved these ads, so he decided to make his own.
I can’t draw one single connection between “Welcome To The Third Space” and video games, but they showed Sony’s unwavering confidence. This company was flexing on every competitor by putting out the most random-seeming ads and still managing to sell dozens of millions of PS2 consoles.
Genesis does what Nintendon’t (Sega Genesis)
The classic ad began by boasting about the Genesis’ “blast processing”, a feature that the Super Nintendo sorely lacked. This was true, but only if we’re referring to the ads themselves, which contained instances of the words “blast” and “processing” — because “blast processing” was made up tech jargon meant to fool you.
It’s not cool to begin your ad with a straight up lie, but that’s the spirit you expect from a crazy commercial aimed more at hurting your opponent than at really promoting your own product.
This isn’t one of the greatest ads of all time because of its cool aesthetics or direction. It’s because it proves the existence of an early version of Sega vicious enough to do whatever it took to win — and because it Nintendidn’t.
It only does Everything (PS3)
Sony would go on to riff on the “Nintendon’t” ads with the equally excellent — and actually honest — “It Only Does Everything” ads.
These showed Kevin Butler, a totally real PlayStation exec, explaining some of the PS3’s awesome features and also take a few hilarious digs at the competition. These ads began rolling out with the release of the PS3 slim, meaning that they must’ve played an important role on the console’s comeback.
Segata Sanshiro’s ads (Sega Saturn)
To promote the Saturn, Sega came up with a live action mascot by the name of Segata Sanshiro. Segata was a martial arts master who’d show up in various Saturn ads just to kick ass and sell Saturn consoles. The result was always hilarity.
While most other video game ads will bring joy to your life for no longer than one minute, there’s over 10 minutes of Segata hilarity out there. It’s hard to pick one single favorite Segata commercial, but I’m partial to the one where beats up a bunch of kids seemingly for preferring real life sports over video games.
I like the “Nintendon’t” ads from the Genesis because I like to see a multimillion multinational behaving like the brats it’s trying to sell games to, but Sanshiro was on a whole other level, and he’ll be overlooked no more.
Standoff (Xbox 360)
The Xbox 360’s “Jump In” motto couldn’t have found a better vessel than “Standoff”. It shows a game of finger guns that grows from a thing between friends into a city-wide thing. There are no special effects, just one hell of a lot of people coordinated to bring you an incredible set piece.
“Standoff” became a thing of myth because it ended up never airing on TV, maybe because of the inevitable association with actual guns, though the ad is obviously about the power of connection and make believe.
We don’t really know why Microsoft decided to shelf “Standoff”, but we’re showing it out of respect for the great work from everyone involved.
Baby (PS3)
The PS3 went through a rough first couple of years because it rested too much on the laurels of consoles past. Sony just thought it could do no wrong at this point. That’s evident with the “Baby” commercial, which just shows a baby doll looking at a PS3, crying, then swallowing its tears.
Looking back, this is easily the emptiest ad in the history of Sony’s consoles, but its inherent creepiness didn’t fail to make quite an impression among fans and very confused bystanders.
Mountain (PS2)
Sony made “Mountain” to promote the Ps2’s online capabilities, so it shows a bunch of people climbing on top of each other to form a human mountain of incredible proportions. There’s no gore, no one being crushed, just people having fun like in the time before cellphones, I assume. Even 20 years later, “mountain” remains a spectacular thing to watch.
“Mountain” was also prescient. It came out in ’03, a time when the PS2 was starting to show signs of the gargantuan monster it would ultimately end up becoming.
S.A.P.S (Society Against PlayStation) (PS1)
The brilliance of the “S.A.P.S” commercial lies with how it’s perceived by people of different ages. If you’re an adult, you’ll easily notice that the guy dressed in a suit is trying to mean business, but is clearly coded as an uptight nerd hellbent on keeping you away from the fun new thing. If you’re a kid, however — like I was when I first saw it — you’ll see a serious man trying to prevent you from playing a console that turns players into chimps.
Yes, this was a console that wanted to appeal to kids but still warned them that playing it would turn them into animals. This was not an ad made at the peak of Sony’s power when any ad would’ve worked so long as the company showed signs of life. S.A.P.S might as well have been an anti-PlayStation ad by Sega — and you know they’d do it — but Sony did it itself. Sony just knew it had one hell of an amazing product worth getting Chimp-ified for.
Champagne “Life Is Short” (Xbox)
Now that the veterans from the great first Sony-Microsoft-Nintendo war have all died, we can agree that the original Xbox had better graphics, sound, and extra functionalities than its competitors. Still the people at Microsoft knew that they absolutely had to stick the landing of the Xbox if they were going to have a serious go at the already massively popular PS2. They did just that with “Champagne”. The bizarre name for an ad starts to make sense as you see a baby being shot out of her mother, then flying over the country as he grows into an adult who crash lands into his very own grave as an old corpse. Life sure is short and cool.
Much like a classic PS1 ad, nothing about “champagne” tells you that playing the Xbox is fun — or even safe — really. Still, it filled prospective players with the need to engage with something they didn’t quite understand — and should not miss.
PlayStation used game instructional video (PS4)
While I’m a fan of the ’90s aesthetics and big-budget directing present in some of the original PS1 ads, sometimes an incredible amount of shade will do just as well. That’s what Sony did in its PS4 days when it made a video explaining the new console’s revolutionary new system of sharing games with friends. Then it showed Shuhei Yoshida, one of Sony’s top execs just handing a game to Adam Boyes, another top Sony exec.
Even if you don’t know the context, that’s already hilariously in line with PlayStation’s most bonkers ads, but it’s even better when you’re in the know. That’s Sony’s response to the Xbox One’s originally-intended business model where one game was bound to one console forever, not allowing you to even borrow it to a friend.
No, Sony didn’t make their direct rival backpedal on their dumb idea with an ad that probably cost the company less than a game would, but this video will forever mark a big victory in a stupid easy battle for Sony.
Published: Sep 28, 2024 09:38 am