Playstation All-Stars: Battle Royale deserved better, that is really what it boils down to.

The problem really isn't that SuperBot quite clearly ripped off Smash Bros. as much as it is that by ripping-off Smash Bros. they've disrespected the Playstation brand on their first title. Sony makes it worse by being okay with this. Everything that makes Playstation what it is is jettisoned for a "me too" 2D brawler.

Let's be clear - Sony has every right to make their own cross-over brawler but crossovers aren't just about your favorite video game characters hitting each other. They're also about celebrating what you've created and what makes your characters special.

So ask yourself: What makes Playstation's brands different? How are they different from Nintendo, Microsoft or Valve?



If you have a comic book where Batman and Spiderman meet, it needs to be more than Batman taking down Kingpin and Spiderman being funnier than The Joker. Batman and Spiderman have their own ways about doing things. They also have common ground and relationships that can mirror each other. By setting aside their more negative differences and embracing their best qualities to have them work together, you get these little moments of growth for Bruce Wayne and Peter Parker. You're reminded of why you came to love these two guys in the first place.



Nintendo tends to go for this in a more historical sense and Square-Enix opts for copious amounts of fanservice, but whether its Smash Bros or Dissidia there are these special moments.

A poignant moment of Super Smash Bros. Brawl was when Samus rescued Pikachu from a device that exploited him for his electrical abilities. The characters quickly bonded after Pikachu's rescue and assisted each other in their escape of the facility.

Was there not a time where Samus rescued another child-like creature exploited for its abilities and it assisted her in an escape? The warrior became a mother and the child an equal as a protector. Isn't Pokemon's story about the bond of friendship between pet and master? These two characters with totally different origins and games come together to express some of the most notable and heartfelt aspects of their character.



Kratos has a lot of reasons to be an angry god but Rau from the Mark of Kri has totally different motives for his rage as a mortal. Kratos is plagued by loss, mistakes and driven by revenge. Rau is simply angry because his people and his only family in his sister were threatened. Rau had great responsibilities in his life and didn't want to lose those he loved. Obviously we have some differences and common ground here. Kratos had a family, but then he got mad. Oops.

I'd love to see these two characters team up for an action game. I've been kind of sad that not only was Rau left behind on backward compatibility, but also that Mark of Kri never got an HD collection or even a spot as a PS2 Classic. Mark of Kri might not have been a big seller for Sony, but it was still an incredibly special and ambitious game that warrants remembrance - a 3D action game with the hand-drawn animation sensibilities driving the 3D animation. It was a lovely game for its time.



I think Rau deserves another shot and meeting up with Kratos could get his name out there. People would buy a game just because Kratos was in it, so why not get Mark of Kri kickstarted again? And in doing this, Sony has copied no one else but themselves. A toon-style Kratos would also be awesome and he could be just as violent as always because MoK was also bloody. There's not much to lose here.

Nostalgic waxing aside, there's also the matter of the origin and identity of the Playstation characters. I wrinkle my nose at a 2D Smash presentation because 2D just is not where Playstation characters come from. Every character in SSB has a reason to be in 2D - its where most of them began, even guest characters like Sonic or Solid Snake. Playstation characters are not of the NES or SNES era, Most of those characters actually come from that second golden age we call the Playstation 2.



PS2 is where the majority of these characters were born, so I would have appreciated them in a 3D brawler as it that is part of their DNA, so to speak. Throwing them in the 2D setting Nintendo favors disrespects them as Sony characters. 2D is awesome, but its not Playstation. Had this been a 3D brawler, Sony could have borrowed or expanded upon whatever else they wanted and people would have been okay with that, I mean, its not like Capcom uses Power Stone for anything.

What really gets me, though, is we have people telling those that call it a "rip-off" to not judge a book by its cover. Well, how many Sony gamers have willingly passed on some great Nintendo first party titles simply because Wii doesn't display HD or have high-capacity storage? That's judging a book by its cover, plenty of people dismiss Nintendo's efforts in that way. So are people wrong when they call Playstation a rip-off when it really does have the looks of Smash Bros.?

Nope, they reserve the right to have such criticisms. Its hard not to see it unless you just wish to be willfully ignorant or had never seen a Smash Bros. game.



But the real tragedy here is that this should have been a celebration for Playstation's successes. All-Stars deserved to be its own game, its own celebration. Instead we're clearly getting a party Nintendo has thrown a few times because it can make money for Sony. Ugh.

Finally, we have people who say that they only care about fun. I can't argue with that, but for me part of the fun of these games is both a reverence for your roots and the ability to poke fun at yourself. Sony does have its own special place in history for me, but when its presented to me this way it feels as fake as Lana Del Rey.

I don't find that fun.

We deserve better and Sony's creations certainly do. But I guess Smash Bros.sells and that's all the reason Sony needs to emulate it. Copying GTA totally made Jak II better, right?

And yet Killzone only tried to beat Halo, not be Halo. Uncharted gave us another way to steal ancient treasure without getting a Lara Croft boob job. Resistance explores a concept I've never really seen with alien invasions. Ico and Shadow of the Colossus are stand-out works of art. Mark of Kri defied the need for realism in a time gamers demanded it and it looked great in its defiance. Ratchet and Clank could have been another vanilla platformer, but its weaponry is what sets it apart from the pack. Chicken guns, yo. Who wouldn't want to see Parappa with a chicken gun and rap about it?

Or at least step, turn and signal to the right?

Playstation characters have had stand-out moments. They simply deserve a game that stands out and celebrates what they are. Playstation All-Stars isn't an insult to me as a Nintendo fan, but it does remind me of why I sold my PS3 in the first place. Even if they do have some of the fanservice, its marred by imitation and a lack of respect for its roots.

I respect what Sony created, I just wish Sony would respect it, too.

So we heard earlier today that Miyamoto was, rather than head up remake projects himself, looking to perhaps pick up where the likes of The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past left off - meaning a new Zelda or a game like it following the design principles of LTTP.

Now its been uncovered that Nintendo has registered a "Super Mario 4" domain and at a recent investors meeting it was said a new 2D Mario game was in the works.and slated for April 2013. Now, its not surprising Nintendo would have more Mario games in the works, but a Super Mario Bros. 4 does seem to fall in line with with Miyamoto's been talking up of late.



Why remake or 3D-ify Super Mario Bros. 3 when you can just make Super Mario Bros. 4 and build on that? With the success of New Super Mario Bros. Wii and DS, its pretty clear 2D Mario can still sell incredibly well, but NSMB didn't really take it to the next level for older Mario fans. It certainly stumped some kids for a bit but now that everyone's familiar with 2D Mario again, this could be a chance to build on the classics and that new following.

At points, SMB3 did also take advantage of the foreground and background, if only for accessing secret areas by ducking on white blocks and finding treasure chests with magic flutes in them.



Additionally, Super Mario 3D Land comes out and brings back the Tanooki Suit and makes a tribute to the Hammer Bros. Suit by way of tbe Boomerang Bros. Suit. Nintendo is again goading old fans with this stuff and charming a new audience with them.

So is it time for Super Mario Bros. 4?

Hell yes, but I'd like a few things this time:



We obviously need Princess and Toad back in playable form. Its been too long since Peach didn't get kidnapped. I like Buckenberry and Ali-Gold, but if we're building on SMB3, let's toss a little SMB2 USA in there. And let's invite Yoshi, too. No reason not to at this point.

But if we're going to do SMB4 right, I think we need it in 8-bit or 16-bit at least. I know I'm just wishlisting now, but spirte based 3D games can be just as charming, I know I love my Mighty Switch Force and Mutant Mudds that way. If anyone can still get away with going 2D and 8-Bit again, its certainly Mario given families still turn over Gamestops every weekend looking for a copy of NSMB Wii.



Anyway, I also want Kuribo's Shoe back in, if you can tell. I don't need the Frog Suit and Hammer Bros Suit is kinda still old hat, but I like that shoe, it was fun even if it smelled of fungus.

Bring it. I think we're ready for this.

Do you find Juliet Starling's portrayal to to be sexist?
Have you ever played No More Heroes?
Have you ever played Shadows of the Damned?
Do you even know who Suda 51 is?
Did you swear up and down that you'd buy his games if they came to PS3 or 360?
Did you you swear your dollars if you got his games in a coat of HD frosting?
Did you not turn out for Shadows of the Damned and skip No More Heroes Paradise?
What if I told you Ubi Soft hardly promoted No More Heroes?
What if I told you EA didn't bother to market Shadows of the Damned at all?
What if I told you Warner Bros. as shown more faith in Lollipop Chainsaw than either of those games?
What if that's a good thing?



What if I told you that No More Heroes and Shadows of the Damned were layered with sex appeal?
What if I told you their protagonists were male stereotypes as much as the women?
What if I told you that Travis Touchdown is an otaku loser than becomes the best assassin ever?
What if I told you his motives were more about getting laid than getting revenge?



What if I told you Garcia Hotspur was a Mexican badass demon hunter?
What if I told you he was really passionate about his girlfriend, Paula?
What if I told you he had a demon sidekick named Johnson and the game was layered in dick jokes?



What if I told you No More Heroes on the Wii sold more copies than PS3 and 360 versions?
What if I told you Shadows of the Damned didn't sell more than 24k between 360 and PS3?
Don't Suda's games deserve better, all things considered?



Is it really surprising that Juliet Starling is sexualized given how Suda's other games are?
Is it really worth being offended by it?
Do you really want to be the gamer that complains about a stereotype in an iconoclastic role?
How often would she be replaced by a male character in other games?
Wouldn't that be expected?
And would a member of the high school football team be better?
Would a "strong woman" really be that interesting instead?
For men: could it be that Juliet's girlishness take you out of your comfort zone?
Are you scared to play a girl character?
For women: do you harbor resentment because she embodies the pretty popular girl you never were?
Follow-up; Do you think teenage girls are really going to compare their bodies to Juliet's?
Isn't Juliet just a charming spoof of everything women hate anyway?
How seriously can you take a girl with a talking decapitated head for a boyfriend?



Why are people being so serious about a cheerleader that kills zombies with a chainsaw?
Did they miss the sparkles and rainbows coming out of zombies as they die?
Or that Juliet goes to a school named after a zombie movie director?
Isn't this really just a game spoofing movies and games the writers and directors loved growing up?
Why so serious, gamers?

So many questions...



Lollipop Chainsaw is a Suda 51 game that finally has a shot at beating the odds that were stacked against Suda's previous games. Ubi Soft and EA put very little marketing into his previous efforts, but the promotion for this game has been amazing when you look at the gameplay videos and behind-the-scenes footage. its a shame people would take issue with this game's promotion. They clearly don't get the joke.

The game is more parody than anything else. Most people that walk into a Gamestop and see this game seem to get it and thing its awesome, yet every now and then there's someone that misses the parody and gets angry.

Parody isn't meant to glamorize, but to mock social conventions. If we put a "strong woman" or bookish shy girl in as the lead, Juliet would never have the opportunity to defy her stereotype in hilarious ways. She's gaming's Buffy the Vampire Slayer in a world where zombie games are a dime a dozens and women fawn over movies about romances with vampires in high school. It pays tribute to classic B-movies while openly mocking what's popular or acceptable.



In other words, despite all the glittery rainbows and perky breasts, its punk gaming. Maybe more Green Day than Suda's games usually are, but still punk. If you get angry about Juliet, you basically lose.

Between this and Mass Effect 3, I'm starting to question if gamers ever take a step outside their own medium or things related to it. I'm as guilty of it as anyone, but at 34, I'm old enough to see the references and get the jokes. The people making these games are around my age. I grew up with the stuff they're talking about and referencing.

How is it with the tools we have at our disposal today that people can play all these zombie games and not know who George Romero is? How is it the works of Issac Asimov and Blade Runner can come up in Mass Effect discussions and people new to that never stop to consider checking these things out by way of Hulu, on eBooks or Wikipedia?

I'm starting to think gamers are becoming immensely sheltered or just looking for an excuse to show some righteous indignation.



But you know what? Once the game is out this will all blow over. Once the game is out there and played, people will start to get the jokes that were always there. It happened with Bayonetta, after all. People will stop getting mad for no reason and move on to the things that really offend them - like Dante being given black hair and Sonic having green eyes.

So tomorrow is finally the day Xenoblade Chronicles is released in the US. Its a game I've wanted ever since it was first revealed. I have a soft spot for games that let me explore vast worlds, you see, and while open world RPGs happen often enough in the West, I've been craving another from Japan since Final Fantasy XI, FFXII and Dragon Quest VIII



I love the Nordic trappings of Skyrim and the wastelands of Fallout, but there's something to be said for the whimsy of Japanese design in these kinds of games. I remember my first trip away from Windurst in Final Fantasy XI, I was just a level 11 Tarutaru White Mage. The journey from the fields of Sarutabaruta had been perilous for one of my profession and squishiness. If one goblin looked my way and aggroed, I was done for, What had become a simple trip for older adventurers was a stealth mission for me at that level and I had very few friends in the game yet.

When I finally got the the ferry in Mhaura, I was giddy with anticipation to venture on to Valkurm Dunes. I'd keep tugging at the coattails of a Mithra, asking her when the ferry would be there. Other adventurers had gathered, ishermen lined to docks and you could almost smell the ocean air.

The ferry finally arrived and I rushed on board, Just minutes later it took off and I was above deck as fast as a Taru's short legs could take them. I looked out to the west and then i saw it - Heaven's Tower, the great landmark of my home nation.

Then an odd sensation came over me. My heart sank and I felt a little homesick. The place I had spent a week getting started, this vast city I had explored was now just a small place on the horizon. A moment later my heart warmed with pride at the adventure to come and I looked a little further down the coast toward my destination.



A Kraken spawned behind me and killed me.

Ah, yes, the thrills of the open world. While Xenoblade is not an MMO, there's always moments like those waiting within an open world RPG all the same.

Anyway, I hear a lot of talk from people about Nintendo needing new IPs, I'm hoping they're not all talk because here one is, folks. Its time to put your money where your mouth is. Even with Xenoblade being a first party title we've had to have people organize and make Nintendo of America aware that we want games like this. We said the same of The Last Story as well, which is a game co-developed by Nintendo and Mistwalker.



But even though things have turned around slightly, I still don't think the likes of Reggie Fils-Aime or NOA believe this or The Last Story are games we need. They don't think there's a market even though there clearly is a market for open-world RPGs.

In my head, I think this is really how Xenoblade got out in the US;

Iwata: Hey, Reggie.
Reggie: Hey boss man. How are things?
Iwata: Good, good. Just got the 3DS turned around, no thanks to you.
Reggie: I do what I can.
Iwata: So yeah, I saw this game called Skyrim sold like 3 million copies in its first week.
Reggie: Yeah, I heard about that.
Iwata: We have a game kinda like that - Xenoblade. Its out in Europe.
Reggie: Yup.
Iwata: Why the fuck aren't you getting it published in the US?
Reggie: Sorry, I got Jimmy Fallon and Oprah on the other lines, can you hold?
Iwata: Fuck it, I'll find someone else. Idiot.
Iwata: Will you at least market it?
Reggie; *click*

So Gamestop, of all businesses, got to publish Xenoblade and to their credit they even got art books to sweeten the deal and put a fair bit of marketing into it. More than NOA has, anyway.



NOA has no faith in it, They need to be proven wrong just like SCEA had to be proven wrong about Demon's Souls on PS3. They need to be shown there's a market, but its really not enough that only the people that really want it turn out, anyone that's ever uttered the words "Nintendo needs to make a new IP" needs to be out there or I just can't take your words seriously anymore. Xenoblade would be the fourth new Nintendo IP since Pushmo, Sakura Samura and Dillon's Rolling Western. Those might just be eShop games, but they're still new IPs. All of them should be supported so Nintendo gets the message that new IPs are cool.

And if you pirated it because you believed it would "never" come to the US, you need to be getting in line because its really not enough to say how good the game is if you don't do your part and just leech. There seem to be a fair number of importers throwing their money in a second or even third time for the US release because they believe in the game and Monolith Soft.



I'll be picking up my copy tomorrow, but I'm still a bit concerned. I hope I'm proven wrong about those who've talked big. They've disappointed me on some great PS2 and DS games in the past, after all. I'm hoping Xenoblade doesn't suffer a similar fate.

I like my Zelda, Metroid, Kirby and Mario games, but it still want something new.

Aw hell, I guess I'll join in on the fun. Plus I haven't blogged in a while and I could use a spontaneous topic. It will be interesting to see if I can even get to ten things about me.

(1) I'm 34.

No one quite believes me when I tell them this. Then again, I never shut up about video games so that's probably why. So yes, I'm as old as Jonathan Holmes if that's really that old. I'm not much on the social concept of being "grown up" anyway since its really not the same thing as being mature. I guess the only thing being my age as a gamer nets you is a vast exposure to nearly 30 years of video games.

My parents never should have taken me to see Tron at the age I had nothing but questions to ask. I asked "Can we go to an arcade?" and that was what ruined me in their minds.



(2) I have a JOURNALISM degree.

Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking at the time, but I was having too much of a good time being in student clubs and pulling a Game Boy Color out of my guitar case from time to time to care. That was back when Goldeneye and Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 were a thing, so when all the work was done those were good times. I would have Ryo talk to Tom in Shenmue and play my ocarina in Majora's Mask.

I started out with a major for broadcasting because I was told I had a great face for radio, but switched up to Journalism because I like bullshitting and I'm quite excellent at it. One day I was sick and threw together a conspiracy theory for the campus paper about why people came to Boone, NC to "see the leaves turn" every fall. Fuckers from the city were after our trees and oxygen, i still maintain that.

I also have a psych minor. That along with the Journo major just means i can say insightful shit or find questions that piss people off. Protip for our potential and current college crowd; ALWAYS ask your psychology professors questions. They love to talk about their studies and research, so much they might forget to assign you homework.

(3) A backpack saved my life.

You know how people say you should never wear your backpack on your shoulder? Those people don't know anything. I was hit by an SUV while crossing legally in a crosswalk. Got into that last lane almost at the sidewalk and some preacher's kid tagged me.

Just one of those "Oh shi-" moments.



Since I was still in college at the time, there were about six thick, heavy textbooks in that backpack between me and this Ford Explorer. Got knocked into the next crosswalk and gave the women's tennis team a nice traumatic shock. The preacher's kid got really religious if "ohmygodohmygodohmygod" qualifies. I couldn't have really known as the next thing I knew is I woke up on a hospital and a nurse shoved a clipboard in my groggy face for me to sign with my fractured right arm to be airlifted to my home hospital.

Yay, run-on sentence! Not fixing it.

Ben Folds wrote a song about that exact hospital the same year. I was OK, though, mild concussion, some pavement in my face and a fractured right arm. My back was fully protected from impact thanks to that backpack and thick textbooks, though my poor Discman did not live to see another day.

I got a $35,000 settlement for my troubles. I also went to hear a sermon from the preacher's kid's dad who had a church just off-campus. It was a nice sermon, but it was really fun to see him turn white as a sheet when I introduced myself on the way out.

(4) I have a problem with brevity.

See above. Everything damn thing I type turns into an essay.

(5) I don't really hate Sony.

People think i have this malicious hatred for Sony. I don't. I just miss the Sony that made the PS2. I feel like the crazy Sony that has ruined the rest of the company is out to extinguish the brilliant flame the games division once had. You know, the part of Sony that wanted CD copy protections and wanted grandmas and six year-old girls arrested for sampling MP3s. That's the part I have a problem with,

PS2 was their SNES, a fricking second Golden age of gaming and they really don't seem to value that very much. It makes me sad. HD collections are nice, but have you seen the hideousness of the "PS2 Classics?" It makes me run back to SD versions of those games.

In fact, it actually has done that to me. I'm rebuilding my PS2 library as of today. I'm not going to wait for them to ruin Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne on PSN. No blurry Demi-Fiend in stretched to 720p.

(6) 90% of the music on my iPhone 4 is by Shoji Meguro.

I have all these other artists I could be listening to, but its mostly stuff from Catherine and Shin Megami Tensei games. Gonna get some Deus Ex Human Revolution in there soon.



(7) I have all three Etrian Odyssey games and still haven't finished any of them.

There's a fourth one on the way, too, likely by the end of this year. I like them, I think they're cool throwbacks with awesome soundtracks, but I never seem to get around to finishing them. I should fix that this year..

(8) Air ducts are my porn in games.

I'm bouncing between Metroid Prime and Deus Ex Human Revolution right now. I love games that really let me explore every nook and cranny of a world. I don't think we really have enough games that meet that potential and wish we had more of them. Skyrim is obviously an obsession for me. Sure, that's another dungeon with more drauger in it, but I haven't seen it yet.

I see an air duct or small space to morphball into and I get all excited. Knowing one place connects to another in a previously unknown way makes me happy. Samus Aran gave me this love for exploration more than Link or Mario ever did.



(9) I wish more games had non-lethal options.

I don't know why games always have to be about killing people. The Metal Gear Solid and Deus Ex franchises have really made me want more non-lethal options. I'm not perfect at stealth, I'm pretty decent at it, but being able to knock out people or talk my way out of a confrontation rather than just go about killing people feels more awesome than being the person who has to kill everyone.

Even Shin Megami Tensei has options to negotiate with enemies rather than always kill them. Its like The Boss said, enemies are determined by the times and are often enemies in relative terms, so why do I have to kill so many in a game like Mass Effect which is so obsessed with talking to people anyway when I can make it through MGS or DX without silencing so many lives?

(10) Gaming, more specifically RPGs, have made me fascinated with mythology and religion in games..

I'm quite a pop culture junkie, but gaming loves to take pop culture and myth and weave them together. You can have Deus Ex; Human Revolution synthesizing a love for Blade Runner and the Icarus myth harmoniously or have Kid Icarus Uprising which loves to forth wall while rubbing elbows with Greek Mythology more directly.



If a game has a beastiary, I'll thumb through it, then I might stuff it, then I might lose track of time on the wiki. Some games throw myth in with no real respect to it while others go for a creative take or a more literal representation. While I do get caught up in the exploration in Skyrim, when I'm hearing the story and lore I'm drawing connections to Norse mythology in the back of my head, seeing Sovengarde as Valhalla, the spirits of fallen warriors - the einherjar - making their way there and the coming of Alduin running parallel to Fenrir and Ragnarok.

Its just how I process things now.

And that's it. Ten things about me. Thanks for reading.

I want movies to be more like video games. i want to be able to control the actors, participate in violent combat and skip over the parts of the story I don't like. This would reduce the Star Wars prequel trilogy to a bunch of light saber battles and an occasional duck-and-cover shooter because there's nothing of merit for me to be sitting and watching unless I'm really into midichlorians and knowing Darth Vader was such an emotional wimp. By having it playable, at least my time and money is not wasted.



From here on out, I demand that each actor in mainstream and independent film have a chip implanted in their heads so i can use a gamepad to control them, make them pick up weapons or maybe just have Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox enter a branching dialog in which the result is them making out.

We can do this, just look the movie Clue - it has multiple endings so its an open-ended film - we just need to expand on that idea and add in the ability to control humans so we can participate in violent acts that movies already glamorize. It can be done.



And so what if putting chips in the skulls of celebrities is unethical? So is the movie Gamer and I don't see anyone complaining about that. Nor do people complain about the plastic surgery or other augmentations actors get to make themselves more attractive and, thus, more famous. Many of them are already controlled by fame, I'm just asking for that fame to arrive at a logical conclusion for me - a controller in my hands.

I’m not saying you have to enjoy movies differently than you currently do, I’m just asking for this as an option. I want a place at the table of this "movie" thing and I want to have both controllers as I make Angelina and Megan go at it.



And I'm tired of books and their words. I don't have the time and can't be bothered to read anymore. I have a life, a job to pretend I enjoy while looking for other jobs and that's got enough reading and writing as it is. Either every book should come with a Cliff Note's version - this applies to both Lord of the Rings and the Bible - or I should get movie versions packed-in.

I just don't like reading and if we can fix that, then I'll be very happy. It even strains my little head just writing this out as it is because no one has invented a way for me to beam my thoughts onto the computer or have it covert into proper spelling and grammar by itself, the lazy bastards.

Publishers and movie studios should be fully capable of bowing to my demands, so I'm here to ask them to change and conform to my needs. I enjoy associating with their mediums, even if I don't like that they expect me to consume them in a specific way. I want to control movies and watch books.

Problem?

Well, you’re just a small-minded elitist puritan. You don’t want people like me joining in your little movie and book clubs. Well, I’m not leaving until I get what I want, no matter how unreasonable you think my wants are.



Don’t tell me I should just play video games instead of expecting movies to change. Don’t you dare shove logic in my face because I am not having logic today. And don’t tell me I should just read a book instead of expecting a movie to be packed-in. I know how I want this and you can’t tell me my opinions are not valid. We can make these vastly different mediums into whatever I want. I will not be limited tot he idea that movies and books have to be their own things.

Can't you tell I don't value uniqueness? I want a chip in Angelina Jolie's head so she will finally leave Brad Pitt and come to me. I don't care that she's adopted children and has all these responsibilities, I want her wearing a slave crown. I've adored the idea of that since Kefka put one on Terra.

And if someone could find a way for me to be able to eat music that would also be great. I get so tired of just listening or dancing to it - and dancing is indeed tiring. I'm sure music can be converted into food somehow if musicians genuinely tried. I bet jazz would have been so much better if John Coltrane made it taste like a warm fudge brownie with vanilla ice cream on top. Why has jazz not achieved this?

Control movies.
Watch books.
Eat music.

That's the world I want to live in. Make it happen.