10. I Procrastinate... A Lot

Seriously, it really isn't funny how bad I am at this. Right now, I have two blog ideas started with three paragraphs and they have just been sitting there for quite some time now. I often find myself thinking while I am at work and say to myself "Hey, that would make a great blog subject!" Two days later, I start it and then I take a break after about a half hour. I know my feeling of "Oh, this could be so much better, I'm not posting it!" gets in the way quite a bit as well. When will these blogs get finished? Who knows? Well, I kinda do, I know the anticipation is killing you all.

9. I am known as a "Dick Werewolf"

Okay, this one really sounds worse than it actually is. For some reason, whenever I am talking or hanging out with friends at night, I randomly keep throwing the work Dick(s) out of nowhere. I never really noticed that until my brother pointed it out to me. Then we also started to think about it... most guys actually talk more about dicks than the grand jugs or bearded clams. It is an odd phenomenon... but I seem to talk more about it at night so there you go... Dick Werewolf.

8. I have a brother

Yup, you probably already knew this but I wanted to share this small bit with you. He is as awesome (if not more) than I am. So yeah... this was just a shout out to my brother, deal with it.

7. I am probably more of a dick than I realize

I like to give a lot of my friends a hard time. Whether it comes as a sarcastic asshole response or switching to the opposite side of Battlefield 3 just to kill other Dtoiders, I find it as a playful joke. However, it probably always doesn't come across as that. I laugh loudly as I stop my friends from finishing their objectives by camping near them and waiting patiently. Seriously though, you don't know how much of a kick I get when I hear you guys say "Fucking Monk".

6. I am paranoid as hell

This one is actually quite embarrassing to me but I always have a feeling that someone I am not aware of is watching/listening to me. Usually I imagine it's some kind of spirit of the sort and I can usually be seen looking over my shoulder. I know it sounds stupid as fuck but I just haven't been able to shake this feeling. Especially when I am by myself, it increases quite a few notches.



5. I have attained a gamerscore that has broken 100,000

This isn't me gloating, it's a cry for help. I am actually quite proud of all the achievements but... seriously, I shouldn't have that much gamerscore at all.

4. My brother and I have purchased almost all of the Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3 costume packs

Please... forgive me but I find it so fucking hard to resist stupid shit like this for some reason. I guess buying the costume packs for Super Street Fighter IV and buying avatar shit is bad as well. I'm sorry I let you all down, can we still be friends?

3. I discover most artists through video games

I try to not listen to the radio at all costs. If you could see my face right now, you would see the most dead serious expression on my face right now. Fuck. The. Radio. If I hear Nickleback on more time before I die, I think it will take a year off of my life. It's so great that games have some great licensed tracks in games today. I can mainly thank Rock Band for introducing me to my favorite band Coheed and Cambria. So thank you for that gaming.

2. I carry my 3DS around with me almost everywhere

The last thing I usually do before I walk out the door is throwing my 3DS in my pocket. I will take any chance that I get to gather up some coins or Street Pass someone. Usually this all goes towards Find Mii so I can unlock little hats for my Mii. Like I said earlier, little shit like this always grabs my fucking attention for some reason.

1. DICKS DICK DICKS DICK

Oh god... what time is it?

I heard some of you are going to Pax this year. Actually, I hear a lot of you are going this year. Sadly however, I will not be able to attend this year... or will I? Actually no I won't be able to... but you can take adopt my avatar to rub it in my face! "But Monk, why the hell would I take your avatar with me? You're just a giant bag of dicks!" That last part may be true, but here is why you should take me... Erm, my avatar to Pax!

1. He's Sub Zero... what else do I need to say? He's easily the best character in Mortal Kombat and is probably the coolest. Get it? Did you see what I did there? ...I really need to stop with those bad jokes.

2. My lord... he has ice cream in his hands. See? He thinks of the children.

3. You will be carrying around the avatar of a pro. Everyone will fall to their knees and bow. Everyone will fear and respect you equally.

4. I have never, ever done this before, so you would be the lucky individual to bring SuperMonk4Ever to Pax.

5. I noticed a lot of you are also going to Halo Fest. Maybe you can get me a couple swag items or signatures. You know, because Halo is one of my favorite game franchises.

6. ...Because you are such a nice person?

On a more serious note though, I would greatly appreciate it. You have no idea how badly I want to be up there with the lot of you. By adopting my avatar, you will have a little piece of me with you. Knowing that little piece of me will be with great people and being with your great times fills my heart with joy. So please, adopt him today, or do you want this to happen to you?



Thank you all for reading this short entry, I hope one of you all can make my semi-dream come true and take my avatar to Pax!

So, I came home from work last night to find a certain package from a certain person was lying on my bed. It might have had anything in there but like the brave man I am, I opened it and studied the items of interest.



I had my dog Jack ready in case anything bad happened.



Hmmm... I told someone that I wanted to get back into comics a while back. I will definitely give this a read in the near future.



Wh... What the? A past OXM featuring Bulletstorm?



Hint: It's not that great...



This is actually for my brother. He is a pretty big Deadmau5 fan, so being the good man he is, Gareth sent Eric one of his most popular albums 4 x 4= 12.



Here's the inside of the case... duh.



For months now, Gareth has been trying to convince me to pick up Modern Warfare 2. I have been stubborn and rejected the game. Well... I guess i really don't have an excuse now, do I?



Here's Gareth's letter to Eric and I. You have done so much for me, you brought me into this community and have provided hours upon hours of great moments. You are one of our best friends, I cannot express my gratitude enough.
PS- I think Superman can be a dick too.



Wow... this kinda made me lose it when I first saw it.

Thanks Gareth, I loved everything you sent me! I'm still not so sure what to make of the OXM magazine but... MARIA! Best bros for life son! But now... here's a little something for you.

So guess what? I got a package today! Yaaaaaayyyyyayayayayayay! Who's it from this time you might ask? It's from the one and only ChillyBilly, one of my best bros around! Lets take a look at what he sent, shall we?



This is what I found taking up my mailbox today... fucking space hogger.



Sup bro?

So let's open this bad boy and see what's inside...



*Looks at calendar* Hey Chilly, you missed April Fo... Oh wait...



Haha... yeah, there we are!



Hell yes, Castlevania: Lord of Shadows! I have been meaning to pick this up!



Oh? And he sent me a Pip-Boy Fallout 3 Bobble head? AWESOME!



Fun fact: I wanted to get the special edition just for the bobble head.



For now, I have him resting on top of my my big old 90s television!

Seriously, I love you Chilly. You are the man, much love bro. I owe you one big brofist.

Yesterday was the fifth anniversary of Destructoid and I have been here for a while. Mostly a lurker until a a little over a couple years ago when I started posting in the forums and then made my first (shitty) blog shortly after. Since then, I have grown from a boy into... and man that acts like a boy. I thought it might be appropriate to celebrate this by taking a look back and take in what Destructoid has done for me. From playing games that I would have never given a second though about to meeting my second family, my bro family. None of this would be possible without Destructoid, my home away from home. I will be here till the day I die, that, or my fingers fall off from all of the typing. So lets take a look at some of the things that Destructoid helped bring to light for me.



Super Meat Boy

I have never really been that big into the indie scene. I have always just brushed them off as flash games that people make that aren't worth my time. Well, I was ignorant to think that way. Destructoid showed off Super Meat Boy to the point where I couldn't be more excited for it before it came out. Thanks to all the coverage that was presented; I bought the game the week it came out and I love it. The pain, suffering, yelling, crying and satisfaction all made it worthwhile. Super Meat Boy is the first game that made me curse so much, I was asked to stop cursing and yelling by my neighbors. It stands as one of my favorite arcade games of all time and I would have never picked it up if it weren't for Destructoid. So thanks for all the pain and misery, you bastards. <3



Amnesia: The Dark Descent

I had no idea this game existed before I saw the review that brought the game to my attention. Now, some of you know I am not that big on PC gaming. I might play more if my current computer wasn't a single processor laptop that is four years old. However, from all the other reactions from other Dtoiders, I thought I might give it shot. Thank god it was the weekend sale on Steam that week. I bought that and downloaded within the day. I might of had to play it on the lowest setting so it wouldn't chug but that didn't stop me from being scared shitless. I have never been scared or paranoid thanks to a game before Amnesia. The atmosphere, puzzles and horrible events that took place in that game was enough to easily put it in one of my top ten games of all time. There were points where I was screaming and had to stop playing because of how scared I was. Seriously, play it, you will not regret it at all.



Hey Ash Whatcha Playing? (HAWP)

Never would I have imagined that one of my favorite series would be a web series. I started watching HAWP after the first season ended, bored and nothing to do. I instantly loved every episode and bought the season one DVD that day. Since then, I have caught every new episode the day it is uploaded. I even stayed up to 1am to watch GTTV to catch the newest one. Once I get paid this week, I am going to order season two. You guys deserve all the success and more.

There are other games that I would've skipped as well, such as Alan Wake, Deadly Premonition and Darksiders. All those unique games got lost in the shuffle to other AAA games sadly. Without your coverage of the smaller AA and indie games, I would probably be one of those gamers that only play shooters. *Shudders* Destructoid isn't only about the stories and games though. It also has the best community I have ever had the chance to come in contact with. I feel honored to know these people and even talk/play with them. I don't feel as if I am not interesting or cool enough to even know these phenomenal people. I could go on and on about how I feel so lucky to just post here and know some of you read my blogs. I feel it is appropriate to address some of these fellow Dtoiders that have had a massive impact on my life...

GarethxxGod: You are the first Dtoider that ever invited me to play with you. You have always been there to have a great time with. I love to hear you rage sometimes in COD or whatever else we are playing. You are my best friend here and will always be, never ever change my friend. You will always be part of my Bro Family.

Chilly Billy: You have done so much for me, providing me with many LIVE codes and other items. I cannot begin to explain how much I appreciate everything you have done for me. You are someone that I could just hang out and just talk with. You have a special place in my Bro Family.

Occams Electric Toothbrush: You are probably the classiest, funniest and most original person on this site. You are probably one of the most generous as well. It is never a dull moment when you are involved, I cannot imagine Destructoid without you.

Knutaf: You always know how to bring a crowd together and have a fun night. All those hours of Halo: Reach have been a blast.

MrAndyDixon: You always know what to say, never ceasing to amaze me. One moment you are spewing boner-isms and then the next you can be serious. Seriously man, never, ever change one thing about you.

Lenigod: You are just... plain awesome. I'm not sure how to put how awesome you are into words. You are just an amazing guy to play with, being able to pull yourself away from your Gran Turismo 5 to play with us. ;)

Epic-KxDtoid: For that one L4D2 game we played. Funfunfunfunfun

SteezyXL: You are just too cool for school. I'm sorry I have to put you in your place sometimes, but I do it out of love. You are one of the best, it's always fun whether I am fighting with or against you.

Law of Thermal Dynamics: I haven't been able to play with you that much, but I can tell you are already an amazing guy. I always look forward to your interviews as well, you bring so much to the community.

The Commentoid Team: I just wanna give you guys a shout-out, keeping track of the best of the best comments. It is always hilarious and interesting to read what you guys think the best comments are. Keep em coming guys.

Last but not least, I would like to thank the person that made this all possible, Niero. Thank you so much for bringing these games and people into my life. You are truly a man that deserves the respect of everyone in this industry and more. I wish the best for you, you are amazing. I cannot thank you enough for making what seemed like a massive task possible. Happy (belated) Birthday. :)

There are so many other people I could thank from the community to the editors. I say thank you to everyone here, my heart is filled with joy just knowing you people. You have no idea the impact on my life you all have on my life everyday. I think the only way I can truly express this is through a classic song. If you grew up in the 90's, it might be familiar to you. So with all the love I can give, thank you so much Destructoid.

-SuperMonk4Ever



[img]http://senorgif.memebase.com/2011/04/01/funny-gifs-just-one-more-time/?utm_source=embed&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=sharewidget"><img class='event-item-lol-image' src='http://chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/doitjustonemoretimep1.gif' title="Do It Just One More Time... Gif - Do It Just One More Time..." alt="Do It Just One More Time... Gif - Do It Just One More Time..." height="210px" width="273px" /></a><br />see more <a href="http://senorgif.memebase.com?utm_source=embed&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=sharewidget[/img]

We all know who Occams Electric Toothbrush is. We all know how awesome his is as well. Well, this gentleman has graced me with one of the best things I have ever received. His package came in today, and it was like Christmas morning all over again. So let me share with you what this marvelous man game me.



I thought about leaving Occams's address in, but I don't want the man getting more ass than myself. You're gonna have to try harder than that. Now lets see what we have here...



A COSSET TAPE?! WHO USES THOSE?! Actually, my car only uses cosset tapes, so I will have to give it a listen to when I drive to work tomorrow. Sad about the necklace though, unless it was already like this, the lobster was broken off of the necklace. Now if I see an Rock Lobster posts... I will kill you.



Some of Occams's famous Garbage Pail kid cards. It still amazes me that these things were even really made. You know, with the child violence thing being a big button of controversy and all. How the hell did that one kid though get his head impaled by that bar though? BLACK MAGIC I SAY!



Some other random cards here. Occams, you really need to get out of my childhood mind. I fucking loved Dinosaurs when I was younger. You know which ones I loved the best? Flying Dinosaurs. Seriously Occams, stop it, you are creeping me out here.



You know those little comic flip books churches gave at fairs? Well, this is one of them and... I don't really know what to say about this. It is about an Islam and Christian arguing about whose religion is right and who is wrong. Apparently, Islam religion is the work of the Devil trying to deceive you.



I'm not sure if Occams is trying to tell me something now... *Strokes chin*



Two of my favorite games series of all time! The MGS is a small walkthrough about how to beat Metal Gear Rex and Ocelot at the end of the game. Now I just need to get passed Sniper Wolf to get that far. As you can tell, the second is how to draw characters from Donkey Kong. Everyone knows Donkey Kong has better games than Mario anyways.



Why is this in the front cover of the Donkey Kong book though? It seems like someone disapproves of Donkey Kong. Seems like I will have to teach someone a lesson... *Cracks Knuckles*



This... Book... Is... The... Best... Kids... Book... I... Have... Ever... Read! Apparently, the reason Godzilla came to Japan was because all the other monsters on Monster Island didn't like him. He was too powerful and big to play with. So Godzilla roamed the Earth, trying to find a place to make friends. Everytime he met someone new though, they would just run away. At the end, he comes back to Monster Island and stops Gigan and Megalon from bullying the other monsters. Gigan and Megalon fall in the volcano but Godzilla decides to save them, earning all the monsters friendships on the island.



You know you have an epic fail on your hands when Godzilla face palms.



It may deceive you, but this is one of the best things in this package. Wanna know why?





That should explain why.





...I have no idea what to make of these pictures. Maybe you all can... I am just completely lost.



Hey, it's one of those grow your own _____ things! It's a treasure though... I guess Occams figured out I was after his booty... ARGH! ...Wait though, what's rubber banded to the back?



Awww, well, you are part of my heart bro. You are part of my bro family man, much love. <3



At first, my family thought it said "Shoot Heffer"



No idea why Occams would want to shoot Heffer, maybe... just maybe he hates cows. That cow hater. Anyways, the CD has a pretty awesome mix of a wide variety of songs. I love the first one by the way, classy intro. ;)



FINALLY! My own Cthulhu! I have already put him to work...



He's guarding my iPod! Now I know who to blame if it goes missing again.

Thank you so much for everything Occams, you are one of the reasons why I have made Destructoid my home. You are one of the brightest shining lights man, never change and never disappear. If you do, we will all find you.