The Big Bang Theory has been a tolerate/hate relationship with me. Like eating Taco Bell at two in the morning, it is something that is best avoided but for one reason or another I give into its delicious, crusty siren calls. I originally started watching it sometime after season two started after being told to give it a try. I am one of those people that I do not feel like I can build a proper opinion regarding something unless I've experienced it. So I gave it a shot. The first two seasons were nauseating to sit through. Overwhelming stereotypes were forced down viewers' throats tainting any possibility of it being enjoyable. However, going into season three the characters started to develop slightly better personalities; acting more like actual people with conflicting complexities instead of just being the "awkward, nerdy" guy or the "super smart but stupid" guy. Even though the geeky jokes are very forced and mainstreamed, the science humor added a slight bit of charm that started to appear which led me to watch through it the fourth season until it went downhill again. Nonetheless, I had invested enough time into it to keep going. It soon became the thing I watched when bored and sleep deprived.

Normally it takes quite a bit to offend me, but the latest episode of Big Bang Theory rubbed me the wrong way. In "The Weekend Vortex", Raj suggests that the men partake in an forty-eight hour gaming marathon playing The Old Republic. The idea of an 'all guys' weekend mixed with Star Wars instantly catches everyone's attention but drama develops when everyone's relationships begin to clash with their plans. The weekend is turned into a girls vs guy battle after Sheldon bails on his commitment to Amy to accompany her to her aunt's birthday party. She spreads her hurt feelings to Penny who helps her crash the guys' weekend as revenge and to set Sheldon straight.



On top of that, Bernadette invades the guys game by tagging along with Howard. She comes over with him with a bright pink laptop and begins to fill the "cute but clueless girl gamer" role. (Clip) While playing the game, we see her making gun shapes with her hands and going pewpewpew before being corrected to use your mouse and keyboard. She banters Howard into dressing like her character so they match to display that they're together in the game and refuses to heal the other members of the party except for him. Ultimately she begins to frustrate the guys by disturbing their questing due to failure. Tension rises as neither Raj, Sheldon, or Leonard want to speak up against her lovey-dovey attitude towards her fiancé nor want to risk hurting her feelings but the irritation is clearly seen on their faces and in their silence.

"The Weekend Vortex" was an eye opener. It made me realize that a demographic being overlooked - the average nerdy girl. Let's take a closer look at the three main female characters in the show, shall we?

Penny is the "hot chick"; this is something that cannot be denied. She's your average person scrapping by to make a living. Not really intelligent or into nerdy hobbies like the rest of the cast, her role is add a bit of sexy spice to the mix and make up for everyone else's lack of social skills. Bernadette is the "attractive, smart chick" whose character pushes borderline-feminist ideals without being overly bold about them. Throughout the series, she obtains her doctrine in microbiology yet has a healthy sex life as well as being pretty. Her career becomes very successful, leading to the development of the strong, modern day woman archetype. She expresses a disliking for children and fears losing her career to becoming a house wife before proposing that Howard takes care of the children as she works; after all, she already makes more money than he does. Her character becomes an example of how a woman can be both smart and beautiful while also keeping a sense of independence. Then we have Amy who is the "bland, smart chick". With a doctrine in neurobiology, she is the least attractive of the three main female characters and is portrayed to be the most pathetic of the bunch. Having very little physical relationships in her life and bullied while growing up, she's the quiet shy girl that no one really talked to who becomes overly clinging and sensitive towards those around her. Personality wise, she's just as socially awkward and strange as Sheldon, thus balancing out the attractive factor that the other two already established in the show.

I appreciate that Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady have managed to steer away from just having eye candy on the show, but I cannot shake the feeling that both are horrible at writing and developing female characters. The scene of Bernadette playing Old Republic with the guys left a distasteful flavor in my mouth. It fed into the negative stereotypes that women who do play games either start to play to bond with their boyfriends or are impractical players. The floral, pink laptop was cringe worth enough but her actions throughout the scene only made it worse. As a woman who has faced some harassment for liking nerdy things, having a show promote stereotypes like this isn't helping to improve the female community's image while empowering the male half.

I understand that the premise of the episode was to display the consequences that can follow contradictions that rise when trying to balance a romantic life with a social life. However, like the promo for the episode says, "There's just one problem...The girlfriend." Again, while this is the episodes theme, there have been quite a few occasions throughout the series where "the girlfriend" has come between the man and what he wants. Such as how Bernadette opposed against Howard working on the space station despite it being his life long dream to go to space or constant interferences from Penny with Leonard's other relationships. The show may focus mainly on the main four guys and Penny, but the other two female leads have grown to take bigger parts in the plot. However, the is little to no individuality to them.

It also does not help that none of the women hold any interest in geek-like hobbies. They three always get together to partake in drinking, gossip, and shopping despite having some knowledge about video games, comic books, and science fiction media. In fact, they all seem pretty disgusted by it.

For awhile in the earlier season, we saw Penny become addicted to Age of Conan and beat one of the guys in a game of Halo 3, but her accepting/liking of video games quickly vanishes from the series. She tries to learn a bit about the things Leonard enjoys to be appealing and interested to him, and at times, will make a nerdy reference but she still shows plenty of confusion regarding it. Neither Bernadette or Amy really express interest either, often getting things like Star Trek and Star Wars mixed up or being displeased with their boyfriends' "childish" hobbies and behaviors. For a show that tries to glorify science and make nerds look cool, I find it incredibly hard to believe that that is no female character that likes video games, comics, and science fiction. A few minor characters have popped up here and there but none have been well written or reoccurring.

I do not understand why some geeky traits have not been sprinkled on any of the main female cast. Especially with Penny already having a small background in technological entertainment, they could easily write it in that she picks up gaming as a side hobby even if she played alone. She is a bit of a tomboy so the concept would be rather fitting for her without risking taking her out of character. Plus, with her already displaying some level of skill in earlier episodes, we could see a positive, female geek over the shameful character they have created with Bernadette. Now, it could be argued that maybe they will eventually include a girl who is more like "one of the guys" later in the series. One that Raj could eventually grow comfortable enough around to speak to due to her nerdy habits but at this point, I do not have faith in Lorre or Prady to be that clever and write her all.



Because have you noticed the other reoccurring pattern regarding the female characters...?

All of them are "girlfriends". Each and every lead character that has been a woman was introduced to the show for the sole purpose of being matched up to another character, even if their relationship spanned over a few episodes. I do not mean to write the show off as being sexist because I do not exactly see it in such a way. Relationships always add more to the plot and naturally do occur when people who share similar interests, life styles, and ideals mix. It adds a sense of realism to the storyline but the way The Big Bang Theory has done it has been poor character development. In the very first episode, Leonard had already established a hollow infatuation with Penny to the point of offering to help her retrieve some properly from her ex just based on speaking to her for a few minutes. Bernadette was introduced to the show by being a selected friend of Penny's to go on a date with Howard due to the girlfriend pact: an agreement Penny would set him up with one of his friends. This eventually blooms into their relationship leading up to their engagement. Finally, Amy is introduced by flat out being matched up to Sheldon after Raj and Howard make a fake profile for him on a dating site.

Though of course the train does not stop there. A few other reoccurring women in the series were also implemented into the plot for little reason other than to complicate relationships and add sexual tension. Leslie Winkle (a rival of Sheldon's at the university) only appeared in a total of eight episodes and grew notorious for casual sex between Leonard and Howard before being written off from the show. Priya Koothrappali (Raj's sister) is yet another character whose traits center around an active relationship with another. Filling the shoes as the "uppity, rich bitch", she seems to hold little value to her relationship with Leonard as she hides it from her family and cheats on him after relocating back to India. Finally, there was Dr. Stephanie Barnette; a surgical doctor that Leonard had a brief, semi-serious relationship with. She was written as a date Howard was trying to impress but felt a stronger connection to his friend instead. In an interview, Prady admits that she was "a chance for Leonard to learn that just because someone loves you, doesn't mean you'll love them back" but nothing more.

I cannot help but feel somewhat insulted by all of this. Not only does my niche in the community not seem to be noticeable, but apparently woman are only good for making our male counterparts not lonely. While I do not feel that show is intentionally sexist, I do feel that there is plenty of room for the women of The Big Bang Theory to grow, especially in the geeky department. Poor writing choices have led to rather disappointing evolution of the characters. I do understand that not all scientists or doctors enjoy technology and science fiction hobbies, but this is a sitcom about scientists who do enjoy those things. Why can't we have a woman be like that, too?

Disclaimer: (Yeah, late again as usual but oh well...)The first part of this article may start off non-game related, but I promise it is relevant to the topic. Just bear with me for this the best example I could provide for my point.

Also, I am going to be doing like I did when I wrote about the Chzo Mythos series by providing a link to an image that farther describes what I have to say without risking unintentionally spoiling anything. So please, do not read the links if you have any intention of playing or watching what I am speaking of.

Thank you, and you may now continue with your reading. Anyway...

Have you ever seen To the Ends of the Earth? No? Well, I am not surprised so allow me to tell you a tad about it, and spoil it. It was a mini-series consisting of only three episodes that aired in 2005 and is based on the book trilogy of the same title. Starring Benedict Cumberbatch, it tells the tale of a young aristocrat's voyage from England to Australia in 1812. We can assume that as an aristocrat, Edmund lived a fairly sheltered life but was exposed to a more colorful scene as he is socially forced to interact with his fellow shipmates. His ignorance slowly fades away as we witness a young man grow mentally and emotionally through hardships and others' perspectives.
Half way through the series, the ship ends up encountering a second ship upon which the two spend a night mingling in celebration of the end of the war. During the party, our fine young gentleman meets a lovely young girl who he almost instantly falls in love with. He tries to convince her to travel to Australia with him but she refuses as she cannot go against the wills of her elders. The two are separated when the ships part, leaving Edmund heartbroken but learning to accept that life moves on despite his brooding over faith in love.

After surviving all the struggles of the journey, he begins to settle in Australia which opens a new chapter to his ever growing life. Edmund is forced to face new challenges as friendships are severed from social statuses, leaving him alone with what could have potentially led to him realizing he needs to let go of his dependency and become a real man. However...



Just as Mindy from the network said: I am not happy with happy.

To the Ends of the Earth was a bit of an eye opener for me. My realization of how upset I was over a sweet, romantic closure to such a bleak set up, I took some time to think about my favorite games upon which I discovered a rather interesting (perhaps disturbing) pattern about them. In Resident Evil... Amatersu cleansed the world once again but... Persona 3 ended with you.... Then in Trilby's Notes...And do I even need to speak about Metal Gear Solid 3?!

In other words...I discovered that the games that stuck with me the most were ones involving bittersweet endings where the protagonist was put into dreadful peril upon which they only overcame by great sacrifice or ultimately resulted in their own death. Turning a character into a justifiable martyr is a delicate, difficult process. If the character is placed into danger with the sole reason only to add a tad bit of dread to the plot, the worrisome connection the player has towards the character can be lost.

For example, let's take a brief look at L.A Noire...Throughout the whole game we see Cole Phelps work to create a solid career for himself- working his way up from a standard cop to being an successful detective on Vice. Half way through the game...

Being filled with dread while watching a character you like struggle is far more thrilling than seeing them in a peaceful environment. Conflict gets adrenaline pumping, putting the player on edge and keeping attention locked on the situation occurring before them. The battle does not just involve the character, but it also involves the player as well, making the two work together to overcome the crisis together. You feel the character's pain and suffer together thus strengthening the invisible bond between the two but what happens when the fight ends?

With happy endings, the story just stops dead in its tracks. All loose ends are tied together and little is left to the imagination regarding how the character lives out the rest of his or her life. Though it feels almost too much like cliché; a forced moment of unrealistic harmony just to make the player feel good as a reward for their hard work but I feel satisfaction can come from more than just serenity. Part of the joy that can be felt after a hardship comes from knowing you survived it. Battle scars become your trophies and a greater sense of respect rises from a character who shows the effects of their suffering.



Darker themes have a stronger impact on you than lighter themes. Melancholic endings carry on within you after the credit rolls because it makes you think a bit by leaving some aspects of the story open for interruption. They keep the connection between yourself and the character active because you both share the same pain; or you suffer the loose of a close friend when the protagonist dies on you. With a happy ending, there is fairly solid closure to the plot. It leaves you with wiping your hands clean and saying, "That is the end of that!". Then you move with no reason to look back because the game gave you no reason to.

Mario can save Princess Peach a hundred times but he will never become as an iconic symbol of heroism as a character like Big Boss... As Mario lives peacefully until the next kidnapping upon which he cheerfully rescues the princess again, Big Boss had to carry the weight of his mission like a real man.

Now you are probably thinking, "But, Steph, the tones and themes are so different between the two. How can you possibly compare them?" Well, my dear reader...That is my point. Joyful tones soon fall into the same reoccurring, predictable pattern. You always know the hero is going to win and that is just boring.

As I glance at the clock on my desktop, I realize that within the next hour the weekly topic for Blogger's Wanted will not matter. However, the fact that I am sitting here preparing to write this is an eye opener. A personal note to myself as proof as to why these resolutions need to be put into effect. Over the years, I have become a tad lazy without actual being lazy - if that statement makes sense. I have shifted into the typical '9 to 5' life style. Forty hours of my week are dedicated to nothing more than working for a living; last year, I broke away from my family to set out on my own and since then, my perspective of priorities has changed. Free time has become a precious treasure as I rarely seem to have it between my shifts, daily routine, and necessary responsibilities that come with being your sole provider. Even tonight, I was home for about an hour or more before I could settle down to do something I wanted to do after coming home from a typical eight hour shift.

I am twenty-two and at the risk of hinting at a mid-mid-life crisis, one fourth of my life is over. (Of course that is based on the assumption I will live till at least eighty.) I am still struggling against the battle of entering college in order to obtain my degree; despite the hardships I am facing regarding finances, I have come to the realization that I can still have promising opportunities that I can focus on as I continue to save up to pay for classes. Some opportunities that could potentially help fund my education. While my mind is cluttered with ideas and things I want to do, I know time is against me but I am making it my goal to try to discover a way to balance everything in my life. Regarding my social life, my relationship, my job, and my schooling as well as my free time...It would appear that video games may need to take a back seat yet, they are still a main driver regarding my hopes for my future career.


1. Journalism

Nearly eight years ago (Holy shit...It's been eight years...), we got our first computer and the internet. Eight years ago, I began to build upon my dream of being a video game journalist. My writing was absolutely notorious back then. Full of grammatical errors, poor spelling, vague descriptions, and horrid word choices, though would could be expected from a young teenager. I had started off very unprofessionally by posting reviews on internet forums. Somewhat building a reputation as a reliable, truthful source while my writing technique improved and I slowly began to develop my own style. I avoided scores when I could, going for more of an informative style of review over an opinionated one. To simply put it, I spoke the facts while sprinkling my own views here and there before recommending the game or not based on the reader's taste.

Some of my reviews eventually were published on some very small, lesser known web sites. Not long afterwards, I found myself helping a friend with his web site, while also building my own. Our need for worthwhile content led to me branching away from just reviewing to writing articles. Then almost two years ago, it was suggested to me by a friend that I write on Destructoid's Community Blogs. Needless to say, I was surprised, flattered, and greatly encouraged to continue writing - to continue to improve myself and my work while providing interesting things to say. The two years I have spent here have had a tremendous affect on my desire to follow my dream because I believe I might have a chance. You guys - All of you! - have helped to keep that flame alive.

As a result, a friend of mine referred me to a magazine searching for journalists for their gaming section of their web site. As you can see from the provided image, I was accepted for the job. It is nothing extremely big at the moment. The whole writing staff is still working on developing the gaming aspect of Royal Flush Magazine, but we have ambitions and dreams, with hopes of covering PAX East in April. (Perhaps I will see some of you there.)

So my first resolution of the year is to continue to see this through, to take chances and risks with trying to make a name for myself in the endless seas of internet personalities. This will require me to be stricter with myself when it comes to meeting a deadline. Not only will I need to play a game by a certain date, but I will also need to provide a reasonably informative review along with it. On top of that, I will need to put effort into going to conventions and staying active within the media. I have started my own [url=" http://digitalboondoggle.blogspot.com/"]gaming blog[/url] as a way for me (and those interested) to track my progress, while also keeping myself on track.


2. Steamtoid

Last summer, some of you might remember the short running of Steamtoid - the community ran stream. It started off positively. We had a few good games to play with a solid response from the community users. However, it crashed and burned quickly for a few reasons. The first being that the program I used to host the live streams began to conflict with my laptop. (That has since then been fixed.) The second was just purely bad timing. I was in the process of moving again. As I prepare to begin school again, I know time will be difficult to manage, but I plan on working everything out to where we end up having more than one streamer, like originally planned.

Streamtoid seemed like a fantastic idea on paper. People seemed to enjoy it, and I even received a few candidates for streamers though I selfishly never took the time to put the pieces together. For my second resolution, I plan on making it a reality. Making Streamtoid official is my second resolution for the year. At a later date, we will try it again but make all the needed preparations to make it active and place it on a set schedule.

(The same can be said regarding Project Gforum, the place where my streaming roots are planted. I have turned my back on the first community that pushed me this far. So I am adding it to my list to be more active with them again.)


3. Embracing creativity

Writing has always been a passion of mine, ever since I was young. It was my dream to one day become a published author, to make my mark on the literary world even if it was just a single pen stroke on the ceiling of the Sistin Chapel of fiction. However, situations and incidents throughout life somewhat smothered the burning passion I use to have. The flame died as I grew overly critical of my work; constantly comparing it to the legends and growing discouraged by the overwhelming fear of never being noticed, but hey, if Stephanie Meyer's wet dreams can become best selling works... Then maybe my twisted reality can, too. (Yeah, it will not but oh well.)

This is going to be a challenge for me mainly because I will need to break away from video games in order to chase after this dream. I need to take some time to actual read more in order to better grasp the concepts behind writing fiction. I need to learn to better portray and develop my characters, properly progress the plot, and learn better writing techniques on top of improving my vocabulary while also defining my genre.

For this resolution, I am going to begin by picking up a few self-help writing books and start doing small writing exercises to start practicing my techniques. Even with just writing this I can see many flaws with my wording. I start far too many sentences off with prepositional phrases, there are too many simple sentences, and in the few fictional writings I have done recently, I have noticed a great emptiness with descriptions. I tend to use the same metaphors and similes too often while also falling victim to repeating words. These are all habits I need to break before anything else. Characters and the plot will follow. I have some ideas already in my head including a character I have been working on for the pass six or so months. (I think I am going to use him as my protagonist.) Slowly but surely, I will begin writing again to chase my goal of releasing a collection of short stories that could become a novelette or a novella.

Personally, I would love to be like Ken Levine, coming up with the concepts and being in control of the creative direction of a game or television show or film. In a way, I would prefer that over a published author. The way today is, I feel as I could do more with visuals than I could with words for I am a very visual person. I can paint you a picture with letterings but to see it come to life would be a whole different experience...A whole new dream and one that is certainly up for grabs.


4. Cello

It has been a year since I have had my cello in my hands. Unfortunately when I moved the first time, my instrument could not fit into the two small vehicles that were my transportation for all my belongings. I had to sacrifice it in order to make room for furniture, cooking utensils, and clothing. I still get the urge to play it, especially when listening to string instrument pieces. I have found myself browsing through classified ads searching for a cheap cello to just pick up in order to rebuild fading muscle memory. Today I decided to finally push to get my cello sent to me. I need it...I have to have it.

While my desires for advancing my technical career and improving my writing are going to swallow most of the little free time I have, I miss my cello. I miss the bliss it brought me as I played though after teaching myself the lullaby from Pan's Labyrinth, I have compiled a list of songs I want to somewhat master by the year's end including: Doctor Who theme, the ending credits to Trilby's Notes, and maybe the Ballad of Serenity since I stumbled upon two cellists playing it the other day on the internet.

Ten years ago, Nintendo released a little purple box into the gaming market. The charming playfulness was more than alluring to twelve-year old me. For over a year, Nintendo tempted and teased me with whimsical commercials. Each sixty-second video was a glimpse into a magical gateway that the GameCube seemed to offer- promising me a peaceful town full of sweet animals to live with, helping me conquer fear to save Mario, cleaning up a paradise, investigating a zombie-filled mansion... So many games I desperately wanted to play, but they were always out of reach. Always locked away behind glasses cases staring back at me; I am sure I heard Reggie and Miyamoto laugh at me every time I walked passed a GameCube demo kiosk. Their taunts driving spikes into my young gaming heart.

Like many, I grew up in a middle-class family that just "got by". My parents made enough to make a living and support my younger sister and I. We always had a roof over our heads, food in our stomachs, and went to a fairly decent school but a disposable income was foreign concept to us despite what our minds wanted to believe. In the innocent eyes of a child, mom and dad always had money. After all, they always paid the bills and bought the groceries, so surely that had money to spend on a toy for their daughter then. They just needed to swipe a card, write a check, or pull out cash from their bottomless wallets though that was never the case. As I learned when I got older, money was a limited source and living expenses were incredibly expensive. Back then, however, I did not understand that. It tore at my little heartstrings knowing that the GameCube I wanted so badly was unobtainable and my chances to get one were up to when my parents had left over money. Like most kids, patience was an quality I had not yet developed. I knew what I wanted it and I did not want to wait with hollow hopes of getting one for my birthday or Christmas that left me with one choice: Buy it myself.

But what could a twelve-year old do...?

My parents did not support the idea of an allowance, leaving me with needing to find an income from an outside source. I tried doing odd ended jobs at my family's local business for money, but the pay was very low. I only spent one day a week doing a few janitorial jobs which gave me about $15. At that rate, it was going to take me about four or five months before I could afford it. A far too slow of a rate for me. I had to find another option...Another way...Then, one day, my opportunity came and all I had to do was sacrifice some of my blood.

I believe it was during my physical for high school when my pediatrician introduced me to a new medical study that was being conducted. Nine years later, I cannot recall all the details, but I remember it had something to do with a new vaccine for the flu for asthmatic 10-14 year olds. The medication had not been released in hospitals year and needed to be tested in the field to observe its effectiveness against competing medications. My parents were informed that it would be harmless and the worst case scenario would be that my body would just react negatively to the drug - meaning I would just get sick and be pulled from the study. For each month I participated in the study, I would be given $100 with a maximum participation time of three months. The gears turned quickly in my head as I realized that if I did this, I could purchase a GameCube. Needless to say, I willing accepted without much hesitation.

The study was not overwhelming. Basically all I had to do was report to the doctor's office once a month for an injection and a follow-up medical exam. It sounded easy enough, especially when a brand new GameCube would be the prize. The first injection hurt; it felt like a wasp sting and was very itchy, but I dealt with it. The welt died down after a few days with the help of a bit of ice. I never really felt ill or got a fever and for three months, I returned to my doctor's office. The physical examination was pretty standard. I had to answer a few short questions for a survey, be looked over physically, and the finally, have my blood drawn.

At the end of each session, I had have a pint of blood drawn to be sent back to the laboratory for farther examination on how the drug was effecting me. That was the hardest part of it all for me. I am one of those weird people who is squeamish but yet, not. I have no problems with gore in movies or video games, but if it's my blood that is being spilt, things change. If I can help it, I do not want to see my own blood outside of my body because it does not belong outside of my veins. (Even now while writing this, I am getting some shivers at the thought. I have no idea why, but it greatly disturbs me. Anyway...) On top of that, I have always been a small girl. I am only 5'1" and barely weight 115lbs, losing a pint of blood had a nauseating effect on me. I grew dizzy and faint which forced me to need to drink a lot of water and lay down before I was allowed to leave the office.

Three months passed and I was handed a check with my name on it. I instantly turned to my mother with a smile on my face. I had done it. I had endured physical pain and sickness for a goddamn GameCube with no regrets. Lucky for me, Toys 'R' Us was running a Christmas special. (This was in November 2002, by the way.) For $200, I was able to get my GameCube bundled with Super Mario Sunshine and I was suppose to get Bomberman Generations. However, they were sold out of the Bomberman copies that they were suppose to ring up with the system. They told me I could pick out a game of equal value in its place, upon which I picked up StarFox Adventures, which was the game I really wanted. (Despite the criticism Adventures received and while it might not be a "true" StarFox game, I still enjoyed it. I thought it was a fun action-adventure game.)

A great sense of satisfaction rushed over me because that was my GameCube. It was not a gift or one just handed to me, it was one I worked for. I gave up my blood for it. For three months, I underwent experimentation risking being injected with nanomachines or the T-Virus...Possibly saved a few lives (though probably, honestly did not) in order to earn the money for a GameCube. One risk that I do not regret...

4 / / Itchy. Tasty.

A few years ago, I was blessed with a chance to speak to one of the script writers and design artists from Space Channel 5 and Seaman. Sadly, I cannot recall her name but she is my grandparents' high school friend's/Japanese wife's daughter. She had worked with the development during the late 90s before selling out to SEGA, causing her to lose faith in freedom of creativity; she left the team after production and began working as a graphic design artist in San Francisco. Our meeting soon turned into an unofficial interview as we began to discuss the difficulty of entering the industry.

For many of our generation, a career within the game industry is a dream come true. Many of us have grown up playing video games in our free time so it should be no surprise to see such passion for game creation rising from today's community. As the lovely lady I spoke to said, getting noticed within the industry is more difficult nowadays than in the past. Nintendo had revived gaming and there were already plenty of development studios that had become staples to the industry, but many of the studios that we know now were still spawning from basement-dweller dreams. Requirements for many jobs consisted of nothing more than just talent, having the ability to use your skills to create a solid, final product. Nowadays, getting a job with a developers is a tab more complicated. Today some companies require some form of college degree, a certain number of years of experience, and some jobs even require having published works.

Yet despite the challenges, many are still willing to build their foundations on passion and unique ideas. Independent developers have worked their way into a fine, small niche within gaming. Indie games have become our escape from the normal by offering us alternatives from the over saturated gaming market. They are willing to take risks with gameplay schemes, art styles, and concepts in general; adding a flavorful touch to our main gaming dish. Personally, I have always admired indie developers. (In case my love for the Chzo Mythos games had not pointed to that.) When it comes to the amount of work and dedication they hold, it simply fascinates me. I highly respect anyone - regardless if it is one person or a handful - who is willing to gather up the courage to chase after their dreams. (It is part of the reason I admire David Tennant as the 10th Doctor; it was his dream to be the Doctor as a kid and he became an actor for the part. )

Among the many taking risks for their games, is Andrew Rabon, a young indie developer who has been working on a game on his own. 4kg is a retro, 2D platformer that sends the player into an undetermined future. A machine-induced apocalypse has occurred, leaving humanity in ruins and left to pathetically attempt to survive. You play as a re-activated robot whose mission is to survey the landscape in such of remaining human survivors and exterminate them so machines can claim earth as their own. (What's up, Daleks? I'm kidding.) Over time, you begin to discover the lifestyle of the robot before the war broke out by unlocking hidden cutscenes.

It originally began its development in December 2009 as an Android software game for tablets and smart phones, but a year into its production things changed. His curiosity in web browser based games soon caused 4kg's development to shift into HTML 5. Tools like Canvas and the Audio tag allowed for easier development, but of course, no dream can be easily achieved. Not long after the format switch, the game's artist dropped out of the project - taking away the game's potential use of vector, Flash art. Rabon was left with no choose but to attempt the art himself in order to keep up with his personal production schedule, eventually settling on an old, pixel art style.



Despite his busy schedule, Rabon took some to do an interview with me:

What inspired you to want to be a game developer?
Rabon: I've always wanted to make a game. I think it began with an issue of GamePro. I think when I was 10 or 11; it had an article on freeware game making programs, and I became fascinated with it. So I've tried over the years to make a game, but didn't have enough drive or concentration to finish any of them. 4kg is where I said, "enough is enough!" and buckled down. I fleshed out its design document to completion, and designed almost all the levels before even moving on to coding. I think that by having those done, they act as a road map, and I know how complete the game is and specifically what still has to be done.

What exactly fascinated you about developing a game independently?
Rabon: Creating something unique and presenting it to others, I think. Getting reactions, positive and negative. Just trying to let someone else have fun; and I guess also making a computer - this massive complex system - do exactly what you want it to.

Would you say it was your desire to want to be creative or your desire to want to offer something to a community that was the fuel?
Rabon: Both really. They complement each other. If I wanted to be creative, I could choose to write a book, or make a song, but I grew up on games and I know there's nothing like playing a fun game, the interaction is unparalleled. So I knew if I wanted to do something with my creativity, it would mostly be for games.

From what you said before, it sounded like there were past failed projects. Can you elaborate a bit on what eventually lead to the creation of 4kg? Care to show us a bit of insight into how you came up with its concept?
Rabon: A lot of the concepts were about the digital realm. I guess I'm just attracted to that sort of theme. 4kg is completely unrelated to any of my previous game ideas. I came up with the name and basic concept (a platformer where you play as a robot after an apocalypse) when I was half asleep one night, and jotted it down in a sketch pad. I then developed the game's structure a bit, 15 total levels and their themes. I let it cool for a few months, and when I came back to it I finished up the design work and came up with the full story.

From what I read, story is told through unlocked cutscenes. Is there a reason you choose to go with a less forceful approach to your story telling?
Rabon: 4kg is a retro game and I really wanted a NES feel (with modern advancements.) NES games usually don't have a very big emphasis on story, and even today neither do most platform games, but I did have a story to tell with 4kg, so I struggled for a way to reconcile these two desires. Eventually, I realized that 4kg lacked a kind of extra reward system, so I made the cutscenes the "prize" for exploring and mastering the controls of the game.

Do you feel satisfied with that decision? Or do you feel like you had to sacrifice the plot in order to maintain the 'retro' feeling?
Rabon: A part of me is kind of sad that not everybody will experience the full story. Even still, the story is simple enough that you don't have to experience it to enjoy the game. I think it's a happy balance. I also think it's good game design that players are rewarded with something that actually "matters" -- as opposed to so-called collect-athons where you just keep collecting more and more useless stuff. If 4kg had a lives system I could reward players with extra lives, or I could have unlockable bonus levels. But the cutscenes fit like a glove when I needed a reward system.

I guess in a way you could consider this a risk - hiding the story from the average player. Do you feel confident with taking such a risk?
Rabon: Yeah. I feel like it's a good idea. I'd rather people complain about not enough story than too much.

Are there any other elements of the game you feel you are taking risks with?
Rabon: Not really, I tried to limit myself with 4kg so I could complete it easier. Even though a lot of the game design is borrowed, I tried to keep it inventive and fresh, and try to introduce new mechanics often. I'm also trying to polish the experience as much as possible. I hope the end result is a very fun platformer with a bit of story that sticks with you, that might be a bit on the short side but never drags. That's my end goal.

Tell us a bit about the gameplay then. Did you create the engine or did you use a program? [b]Rabon: 4kg's code is based on the "Leave Me Alone" demo game for the Akihabara engine. It's straight up text, no special program here. I find they're a bit too limiting for my style. I really like to change stuff up on the fly and having the code right there lets me do that really quickly. That's also why I chose Akihabara; it's written in JavaScript. Instead of waiting for my game to compile I just have to press the browser reload button. It's immensely freeing.

Do you ever see yourself branching off into the use of other programs for future projects? Or are the talks of future games too off into the future to think about?
Rabon: I do think about it a lot. Particularly for HTML5 game development, stuff is happening all the time so I have to constantly re-evaluate the tools I use. I've been looking into GameMaker: HTML5, and Impact.js. but Akihabara suits my needs, and I can do anything I want with the source code which is great. As for future games, since 4kg has had its design complete for over a year, I've had lots of time to think about the future. I tried not to at first of course, and just concentrate on 4kg, but my imagination never rests. So I'm designing my next game now.



Do you plan on continuing to develop your games independently like now? Or do you see yourself trying to reach out to other's to help produce the project a bit quicker? Such as maybe starting an "unofficial" development studio?
Rabon: My next game will be like 4kg has been, but hopefully much quicker. Teaming up with others would let me develop bigger and more involved games, but there's a certain amount of expectations from those people you get involved in. It's a tough nut to crack but I think I will find an answer.

Is starting your own development studio a goal at some point? Is it something you'd like to do?
Rabon: Yeah, of course. I don't know if it'd make any money though *chuckle* and I probably wouldn't handle the business side, so I'd need to find someone for that. If I could be a dedicated game designer, at my own studio or someone else's, I'd be content, but I have this feeling I can't shrug off that game design is the "easy way out," and that you have to be a coder or an artist first, then progress to a design role. That may or may not be the case, but I'm hoping that making my own games will be a "third" option, and that they'll show the other studios I'm a good game designer.

How has it been trying to handle a project by yourself?
Rabon: It's really tough to stay motivated. It's easy to say, "Well I had a busy day, so I'll work on it tomorrow instead." If I had worked on 4kg every day it would be out by now, maybe even a year ago. Designing the game was a blast, and even coding and putting the sprites together. But just pushing through is a trial by fire. That's why having a complete design doc is so important, it lets you basically check things off a list and have a sense of completion and achievement.

Is there anything you wish you did differently?
Rabon: Besides not having it released already, I would probably say I wish I had chosen HTML5 to start with. In the beginning, 4kg was for Android, but I switched after my artists dropped out of the project. I could have gotten a good bit of work done if I had stayed on one platform, although who knows, maybe not.

Speaking of artists, where did the music come from?
Rabon: [url=https://8bc.org/]8bitcollective[/url] hosts a bevy of fantastic chiptune music all available under a Creative Commons license. Even still, I specifically sought out each musician to ask for their approval for putting their music in 4kg. They have all agreed and 4kg has an absolutely fantastic nine-piece soundtrack because of them. I will be releasing this soundtrack for free on the game's blog following 4kg's release.

When can we expect to see 4kg's release? And is there anything else you would like to add?
Rabon: After nearly two whole years, 4kg will be released for free this November. Users of any modern browser should be able to play it, although the game is being specifically optimized for Google Chrome. I am thinking of making other versions, like for Facebook, Android, or iPhone, but I don't know how long those could take, so I can't commit to that right now. I hope you look forward to 4kg's release, I know I am. I am actually a bit into designing my next game, which could be like something nobody's ever seen before, so I'm excited to be able to finally move fully into developing that.

You can head over to 4kg's website to continue to follow is development. A demo is also available on the site for anyone interested in giving it a shot, and contributing motivation to one man's dream.

You know him. You love him. He's a shark.

In correspondence to the Discovery Channel's lame Shark Week, we are going to have a badass Cybershark Week dedicated to our amazing Director of Communications - Hamza Aziz. (If for some reason you don't know who he is, then you've been living under a rock as blogger here, but you can still educate yourself. Check out his C Blog Interview when you get a chance.)

Each day we will try to something cool in honor of Hamza as a thanks for all the work he does for us and bullshit he (I'm guessing) puts up with. Because I do not know about you guys, but I would not have been here or kept writing C Blogs if I had not received some encouragement from Hamza himself. At the time, I had been so use to people with any sense of fame to them being a bit uppity, that I was surprised to discover how laid back he is and how active he is with the community.

Cybershark Week runs from July 31st to August 6th. So check back here each day to see what the new activity is.

Sunday - Today I ask all of you to change your profile pictures on everything to something related to a shark. Twitter, Facebook, here on DToid, Steam IDS, etc... Anything you can. Now, keep those as your profile pictures until Cybershark Week is up.

This is a lame "activity" but I promise they will get better later on.

Monday - Ok, today I ask you all to give Hamza a gift. I know many of us are poor and many of us don't want to send stuff to a random guy, but the gift I am asking is the gift a child gives to a father. A gift made from the heart.

Draw a picture of a shark.

Put all your heart and soul into it! Do it! Do it now!

Tuesday- How many times do you use the word "shark" in a day? Probably almost never. Well guess what? Today I ask you to use it as much as you humanly... eh sharkly... can.

Keep track and return later tonight with your results!

Wednesday - Play this game and show us your high score!

Thursday - Bad ass shark videos... Go!

Friday - *Internet was out!*

Saturday - Let's end the week with something big...

I want you to dress up like a shark and share a picture with the world!