You know, one of these days I'm going to do this thing before Thursday. You know, one of those weeks that doesn't have Valentine's Day in it. Speaking of things that are too long, I'm looking at this "Random Notes and Observations" thing and I'm thinking it needs a better title. Since this is a place FULL of opinions, how about you send some my way? Should it be the same, "RNO", "Bullet Pointed", "Monkey See, Monkey Type", "You are a cancer to this sacred place", or something completely different? Post some comments and let me know what you think a good name is or where I went horribly wrong. Hell, do both!
Anyway, onto this thing I created.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* We start RAW with an Elimination Chamber debate. CM Punk for president!

* But wait, R-Truth is making a strong showing on his "box of spiders and dolphin noises" platform!

* Wow, that debate was actually pretty good. I think they're all winners. Well, except Kofi, who clearly lost.

* I didn't know you could flank someone with a Codebreaker, but Jericho just did it.

* I'd marry this crowd if I could. We'd be man and crowd.
* Cena: "Hey Zack, I'm just going to leave you completely unprotected while I go get Eve, k buddy?"
Zack: "They've pumped me so full of Vicodin that I just don't care anymore."
Cena: "Cool then. So long."
Zack: "Goodbye guardian spirit."

* Big Show completely botched that RKO. I know someone who's bag is getting a visit from the poop fairy!

* HBK: "Hey HHH, you just jokin' 'bout not facing Taker, right?"
HHH: "Nope"
HBK: "Seriously?"
HHH: "Serious."
HBK: "Well you plum yellow."
HHH: "I can do it, I just don't wanna."
HBK: "Well why dontcha?"
HHH: "TAKER IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!"
HBK: "What?"
HHH: "Yeah, totally forgot to build new stars, so Taker's pretty much it for drawing power."
HBK: "YOU AREN'T THE MAN I LOVED!"
HHH: "SUITS!"
TAKER: "I hear you like Wrestlemania opponents with short hair HHH! Am I pretty enough now?!"

* I said "I wonder when someone's going to reverse Dolph Ziggler's ab crunches" right before R-Truth rolled him up. No joke.

* Wait, has John Cena been chatting with Josh Matthews all this time instead of looking for Eve? How is Kane the heel here?

* Well speak of the Devil's Favorite Son, trying to kidnap Eve in his Rapeulance. I love how Eve jumps out the back of the thing like she's in one of John Cena's terrible action movies.

* Eve: "Thanks for saving me Cena. Oh hey, you've got a fly on your lips, let me suck that off for you."

* Cena starts giving an in-ring promo apologizing to Ryder, but gets drowned out by the crowd chanting "WE ALL HATE YOU! clap clap clapclapclap" I knew I made the right choice marrying you crowd!

* Ryder comes out on crutches to the ring, still getting there faster than your average Undertaker entrance.

* Ryder goes to punch Cena, but Cena blocks and almost throws a punch back! Looks like they're getting ready for their future lightsaber duel on Mustafar.

*...Or Kane can just chuck Ryder off the stage wheelchair and all. That works too.

* Aaaaand we end RAW with Eve getting tons of heat from my wifecrowd. Speaking of, we're off on our honeymoon. Me and the misses hope you all had a great Valentine's Day!

Sorry this took me so long to put up since, well, it's Thursday. Thursday's still a good day! I mean, what else are you going to do, watch TNA? Anyway, here's my list, now with pointier bullets!
------------------------------------------------------

* HHH starts the show by coming out and telling Undertaker that he's just not that into him.

* Undertaker responds with lines like "It's not over" and "Give me what's mine." My ex used to give the same promo to my voicemail.

* I guess they're tossing the whole "random" chamber selection thing right out the window. Probably for the best.

* Barry Burton says "You were almost an AJ sandwich!"

* Santino and Hacksaw Jim Duggan face Epico and Primo in a "We are completely out of tag teams" match.

* Fun game: anytime Kane or Cena have a promo, replace the word "hate" with the word "penis". It changes the entire storyline from Kane telling Cena to come to the dark side to Kane telling Cena to come out of the closet.

* Jericho to Universe: "Problem?"

* So it looks like CM Punk and Jericho are going to have the "Best in the World" feud I asked Santa for. Christmas comes in February!

* Natalya stinks up the diva match. With farts. Neidhardt farts.

* Did they really add digital smoke to Dale Edwards donut?

* Today we witness the first "TebOtunga." Still waiting for it to turn into the "Lawyeroonie."

* Main event starts and immediately becomes a gangland beatdown on Jericho, which is wrestling code for he's going to win.

* Oh wow, I think R-Truth can taste his tailbone after that jump to the outside. Miz is the worst trust fall partner ever.

* RAW ends just before Kane breaks down crying, asking Eve why Cena just can't see his side of anything before springing for a bucket of ice cream.

After posting this up last week to a positive response, I thought I'd give it another go in the same format. I present to you, in no particular order, my incoherent ramblings associated with WWE RAW for 1/16/2012.
-----------------------------------------------------------

* CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, and Chris Jericho are tagging together in the main event. Just say that a few times, nice and slow, if not to allow more time for those words to dance on your tounge.

* I think the main reason people are loving Brodus Clay's "Funkasaurus" gimmick is because it's unique. Nobody would have cared in the Attitude era when Godfather, the Too Cool stable, and "Dancin'" Dan Severn were dancing up a storm. Okay, Dan Severn never had that gimmick, but he should have.

* John Cena fought Jack Swagger. I'm sorry, a fight would assume offense from Jack Swagger. John Cena punches a hole clean through Jack Swagger and tears him in half.

* Kane is trying to sound like Emperor Palpatine but sounds more like my spotter at the gym. "Now you're getting it, Cena. Three more reps!"

* Punk verbally destroys Laurinaitis and all he can respond with is his job title like a kid who just got pantsed in the middle of the recess field even though he didn't even want to go to school but my parents made me go anyway.

* I love how Mick Foley brazingly saying he doesn't give a crap about taking a deserving wrestler's spot in the Rumble is met with huge cheers.

* ...and Laurinaitis tells Foley he's not going to be in the Rumble. Curt Hawkins spot is safe!

* Evan Bourne was a tag team champion, but then he took a 60 day suspension to the Wellness Policy.

* How weak did Jack Swagger look with Zack Ryder kicking out of TWO Gutwrench Powerbomb finishers? Even when Swagger wins a title he still looks like a jobber.

* Whenever I get sad, all I have to do is look at this picture. http://imgur.com/IzqRT.

* Teddy Long comes out during the Miz/Barrett/Truth/Sheamus melee and DOESN'T make a tag match! Shock of the night!

* Laurinaitis is on a roll tonight, charging in and telling Zack Ryder he wasn't actually medically cleared to compete tonight, then proceeds to tell Eve to GTFO and make him a sandwich and so help me if that crust isn't cut off....

* Jericho hilariously starts a full crowd cheer before tagging out to Daniel Bryan and leaving the arena completely, a move my girlfriend called immediately upon hearing that he was in the match (so proud!). It seems Jericho is full heel now, but how can I hate a man that responds to questions by turning on his LED jacket?

* At one point in Punk's match he ended up in a position that screamed "I'm going to lick your back for a sec. It totally won't be weird."

* Man I'd love to get excited to the teased Cena heel turn but I know in my heart of hearts that it's not going to happen because in reality he's going to rise above the hate so he can continue selling shirts that say "Rise Above Hate" on them.

* John Laurinaitis is The Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim General Manager of Ending RAW By Hitting Mick Foley In The Head With A Mic.

I wanted to write a RAW recap on Tuesday but I never got to my computer long enough to accomplish this goal, so I bring to you the notes I took about Monday Night RAW for 1/9/2012 in no particular order.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Cena gets back up to find that Kane has mysteriously vanished. More likely, Kane got bored with Cena's attempts to stand back up and walked away to fetch a strong cup of coffee. Black, like his soul.

Daniel Bryan beats Kofi and Big Show comes out, Bryan tells him "Anytime, any place," to which Big Show pulls him in close and says "Fe Fi Fo Fum" or something.

Kane has finished his coffee and tries to leave for the bathroom, but oh no! They're filming a Zack Ryder promo! Hopefully he can duck back in the room before anyone notices.

Brodus Clay debuts as Funkasaurus which is a gimmick birthed from a fuzzy night between Godfather, Rikishi, and diabetes. It's unexpected, refreshing, and going to be annoying as hell after a month. Curt Hawkins' Cane got completely overshadowed by the funk.

I don't care what anyone says, that ref botched up the ending of CM Punk vs Jack Swagger. You can see it in Punk's eyes.

Kane finally gets to the bathroom and when he tries to leave, another Zack Ryder promo! If Kane didn't know any better, he might think that Ryder was stalking him.

Why is it that whenever the Four Horsemen music plays, I have to make the "Four" Handsign? I think it's written into my DNA.

Now Chris Jericho is playing off that he's too emotional to talk. It was still funny, but he's gotta talk next time, right? Rule of threes?

Kane's music interrupts the entrances for the Diva match, forcing Ryder and Eve to flee in terror. So Kane just stopped a Divas match from happening, which I believe officially turns him face.

Seriously, I have never seen more intense tire changing in all my time watching pro wrestling.

Okay, Zack's still working that tire. I totally wish he'd just say screw it and flat out steal someone else's car. On a side note, this feels like something Steph and HHH would do back in the day if they heard Austin was in the arena and he'd already flattened out the rest of DX.

Headstand headlocks? Will wonders never cease?

Kane comes out to leave the arena after his coffee and bathroom break only to see ANOTHER Ryder promo blocking his way? Third time's the charm as Kane finally destroys Ryder mumbling something about using the bathroom in peace. Cena's in pursuit, giving Ziggler the countout win.

Wait, spoke too soon. Really WWE? Ziggler's the guy you have going up against Punk at the Rumble for the title and you can't even give him a countout victory over a pre-occupied Cena? It has to be a draw? Way to build up your challenger there WWE.

Kane gets the better of Cena and leaves him and Ryder unconscious. All he wanted was ten minutes without walking in on a Ryder promo, but noooooo....

I bet you five bucks that RAW will come on air next week and we'll cut to Eve still screaming in that freaking car.

Man, we were all pretty worried about the WWE in 2011 going into the summer, weren't we? A lackluster Wrestlemania and the retirement of Edge made it feel like this was just going to be another Cenathon where nothing new happened, the status quo would be strictly enforced, and the most exciting thing we'd get was the once in a blue moon live appearance of the Rock. However, that was not meant to be.

On 6/27/2011 in Las Vegas, Nevada, CM Punk took his seat at the top of the entrance ramp and went into a promo that would make everything that had already happened in 2011 obsolete. For a couple blissful weeks, every wrestling fan on the planet asked the questions “What did all of that mean? What's going to happen next?” Sure those questions were eventually answered and the feud between Punk and Cena came and went, but I think those two questions need to be asked once again. This is an interesting time to be a WWE fan and 2012 holds a lot of possibilities.

With 2011 coming to a close, I figured it was a good time to take a look at the major themes that dominated the latter half of the year and how they'll lead into 2012. I figure we should probably start with why I'm writing this in the first place.

THE RISE OF CM PUNK
"I hate this idea that you're the best, because you're not. I'm the best. I'm the best in the world.”
-CM Punk during his worked shoot on 6/27/2011

There's no way the WWE could have foreseen what allowing CM Punk to rant on a microphone for just under six minutes would do. I'm still not sure how that promo actually happened when McMohan is infamous for approving everything down to the last letter and would NEVER allow something this critical to go on-air, but that's what made it all so interesting. It was something new and unexpected from a company who had spent the last couple of years stagnating under a sea of SuperCena comebacks and nostalgic callbacks and guest appearances. Everyone was suddenly paying attention to CM Punk, and he made damn sure nobody looked away. The excellent feud with John Cena catapulted CM Punk through the glass ceiling and into the main event picture. Even now this former ROH star continues to cut the best promos around and continually delivering high quality matches, most recently playing his role in the fantastic TLC WWE Championship match with Miz and Alberto Del Rio.

What it means for 2012: While the “Age of Punk” continues with him going into 2012 as the WWE champion, he's clearly settling into his role as one of the top faces of the company. He doesn't seem to be slowing down anytime soon and I expect some of his best work to still be ahead, especially when the opportunity to steal Wrestlemania away from Cena vs The Rock will fuel Punk's creative juices and probably end up with him working his butt off to build whatever heat he can going into the show. The road to Wrestlemania in 2012 has everything it needs to be a memorable one, but the lingering effects of Punk's rise could lead to one of the most sought after turns in recent memory.

Oh yes people, it's time to talk about Heel Cena again. This is a discussion wrestling forums have been talking about for years, but now it seems more plausible than ever. The rise of CM Punk and, more importantly, his newfound drawing potential allows the WWE to start toying around with the idea of turning their top face heel. A lot of people are saying that the TLC PPV buyrates will prove to the WWE if Punk can sell a PPV. The new “Anti-Cena” shirts are also testing the marketability of a hated heel Cena. If the results of these two experiments are positive, we could very well be looking at the long awaited turn of John Cena, leading into Punk vs Cena II.

THE PG ERA IS DEAD, LONG LIVE THE INTERNET ERA
"The reason I started [my show] was either to get noticed or get fired, and because of all you people, I got noticed.”
-Zack Ryder After a WWE RAW Dark Match

The PG Era wasn't just about the little box that comes up on the corner of the screen saying “TV PG(V).” The PG Era was about wrestling appealing to the lowest common denominator. RAW and Smackdown were becoming so formulaic that it was possible to predict feuds before they even really started. I remember predicting entire PPV cards with 85% accuracy, my score thrown off mostly due to the pointless diva matches and the occasional “shocking win” designed to continue the feud until the right guy won. The glass ceiling was as strong as ever. One obscure superstar realized he'd never get on RAW in the current system and that he was probably a month away from being future endeavored. With nothing really to lose, he decided to post various promos and sketches on Youtube in the hopes of getting over.

Zack Ryder posted the first episode of Z! True Long Island Story on February 17th. Ryder was just another story of a midcarder who had his one lackluster push and then promptly pushed down to Superstars, waiting for his inevitable release from the company. Bonus points for being apart of a tag team that was broken up. With nothing but a crappy clubber gimmick to his name, Ryder created a persona that was the definition of a plucky and lovable underdog, complete with friends and family showing their support for Ryder in the Youtube vids. Fans connected with the self proclaimed “Internet Champion” in a big way, flooding arenas with Zack Ryder signs, constantly selling out Ryder's only shirt, and chanting for Ryder when he wasn't even on the night's card. With the fanbase growing and Cena reportedly leading the charge in the back, Zack Ryder finally started appearing on RAW and in short order created a feud with Dolph Ziggler that would prove to create heat for the US Title that creative couldn't even hope to match.

What it means for 2012: A social media push to end all social media pushes. WWE flipped a complete 180 on their social media policy from banning wrestlers from social media outlets (Yeah, Vince was paranoid about storylines getting leaked on the net and threatened to fire anyone posting from a non-kayfabe account) to having it be the only thing announcers talked about, all thanks to Zack Ryder's success with the medium. We've seen only a small taste of it in 2011. That's right dear reader, it only gets worse from here. We're only a couple of months away from the the Gobbledy Gooker coming out as the Twitter bird to promote Twitter use during Wrestlemania weekend.

This push, however, has changed the paradigm. The focus has shifted off of the children that had to beg their parents to buy them one shirt to the internet fanboys willing to buy every piece of merchandise a superstar had at the drop of a hat. The internet smarks that Vince used to hate are now holding his ear. It's a brave new world where two former ROH stars are your world champions and promising midcarders are getting more shots at breaking through the glass ceiling than ever, as long as they're being talked about on Twitter, of course.

Hell, maybe the Internet will finally convince the WWE to drop all the deadweight girls and bring in talented workers to legitimize the Diva division! Hey, a guy can dream, right?

AND LO, THE INDIE SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH
"...It’s fun watching us pretend to be superstars when [Me and CM Punk] are really just a couple of Indy schmucks.”
-Daniel Bryan the day after winning the World Heavyweight Championship

I mentioned previously that your current WWE world champions are former ROH world champions as well. Before this year, it was incredibly rare for a popular indy talent to even be in the main event picture, usually dominated by FCW grown talent trained in the “WWE template” of wrestling. We saw the old standbys of John Cena, Randy Orton, and Edge dominate the main event stage while talented indy wrestlers like Evan Bourne (Matt Sydal) and Kaval (Low-Ki) were driven to the bottom of the card with seemingly no hope in sight, so much so that Kaval basically quit the company before the company could do it for him. During this year, however, a funny thing happened.

Edge had to suddenly retire due to an old injury. Undertaker was barely able to even appear at Wrestlemania anymore, let alone Smackdown. Rey Mysterio was injured halfway into the year. HHH only wrestled PPVs when he did wrestle. The age of the vets were finally catching up with them and the WWE needed new blood in the main event picture. Yes we saw plenty of Cena and Orton title reigns, but we also saw perennial midcarders Christian and Mark Henry win the World Heavyweight Title along with international stars like Alberto Del Rio claiming the WWE Title.

What it means for 2012: With the need to create new stars greater than ever for the WWE, many wrestlers are getting chances that they would have never received even a year ago. If there was ever a better time for talented international wrestlers to try and make it in the WWE, this is it. With TNA Wrestling releasing popular X-Division stars in favor of older wrestlers with better perceived drawing power and a flood of lawsuits over treatment of talent (including things like not paying medical bills and forcing workers to work hurt), the image of two former indie stars holding the top titles in the company could be an awfully powerful motivator for wrestlers to head over to Vince's brand instead.

2011 has been a wild ride for people who love the WWE, especially if they also love the indie scene. Well known indie stars CM Punk and Daniel Bryan are your world champions, Zack Ryder went from Superstars obscurity to the US Championship based solely on the support of the fans, and the path to super stardom is available to anyone who's willing to put in the work instead of who fits the WWE template. We're entering 2012 with a level of excitement not seen in years and a feeling that change is in the air. Will the potential of WWE's new direction reach full bloom in 2012 or will the youth movement be buried in favor of the status quo? Only time will tell.

Personally, I can't wait.

I bet the second the “Love/Hate” Monthly Musing came up a majority of gamers went straight to JRPGS and the “Hate” portion of the title. It would seem that I’m no different, but I really do want to finish Final Fantasy XII and love it to death as I tend to do with Final Fantasy games. I’ve heard all the praise for its rich story and dynamic characters, but I can’t bring myself to keep going. I can link the reason to one aspect of the gameplay that makes me want to toss the game disc into rush hour traffic. That aspect is the awful battle system.

I can’t blame the Final Fantasy developers for wanting to try something new. Everyone can agree that the battle system used through Final Fantasy X worked, but was becoming archaic. The system definitely needed to change. When Final Fantasy XI Online was released, we were introduced to the new battle system meant for the MMO community. This was the same battle system that was ported over to Final Fantasy XII, a game that’s strictly a one player experience. This is a shame because I really dislike MMOs.


Positioning during battle doesn't matter in FFXII, leading to battles that boil down to one click combat and constant micromanaging.

I’ve taken my shots playing World of Warcraft and Star Wars Galaxies and have become extremely bored with them. Usually I’ll play with great enthusiasm until I hit level 20 and the grinding (the MMO term for fighting random enemies to gain levels) overtakes the pacing and I begin to lose interest. Perhaps the biggest reason I begin to feel like I’m grinding is the common one click battle systems employed in a lot of them. Final Fantasy XII has that kind of feel to it even though it tries to shoe horn in micromanagement on the fly as a big feature, misunderstanding that strategy is suppose to end battles sooner instead of making them unnecessarily long. It didn’t have to be this way.

The “Tales of” series has my favorite battle system and it would fit perfectly in a Final Fantasy game. My favorite game in this series, Tales of Symphonia, sports all the micromanaging of Final Fantasy XII as a way to prepare for battles. You can set certain buttons as shortcuts to tell a computer partner to do a certain action, set your formation to keep your spell casters back and your melee fighters up front, and if you hit certain attacks together you can create a unison attack that does major damage. None of this stuff is revolutionary and can be seen in other titles, but when you actually get into the battle all the micromanaging gets cut down to “choose spell to cast, cast spell.” The success of the battle is usually a mix of preparation and your actual skill in battle. Yes, battle skill is a player action and not necessarily one of character levels. Since dodging enemy attacks comes down to physically moving out of the way, you can employ real battle strategies like flanking, diversionary tactics, hit and run, and others. Compared to this kind of system, Final Fantasy XII creates an illusion of strategy.


In Tales of Symphonia, however, positioning means everything, leaving battles more up to skill and on the fly tactics than menu navigation

Even though Final Fantasy XII allows you to run freely during a battle, it doesn’t actually affect the battle itself. You can stand directly behind an enemy and watch him attack where you once were, only to take damage. You can hit an enemy and run away, being a good ten feet away from the enemies attack and still get hit. It will quickly dawn on you that you’re just playing the same old Final Fantasy battle system with some minor MMO clichés tossed in for good measure. All the free roaming does is help you avoid random battles by not attracting attention (Or “aggro” as the MMO players call it) and have you run away manually and waiting for the invisible bungee cord all enemies are attached to fling them back to their starting positions. It doesn’t take long before that same feeling of grinding kicks in.

My copy of Final Fantasy XII continues to sit on my shelf collecting dust. I know I want to finish that game after hearing how great it gets towards the end. Unfortunately the clumsy and convoluted battle system meant for MMOs just takes all the fun out of the game. Instead of rewarding you for skill and strategy like Tales of Symphonia, it penalizes you for not pausing the game every few seconds to micromanage every little thing about your computer partners and seems to loathe the idea of open world battles that aren’t just glorified dice rolls. Maybe one day I’ll be able to get over that system and be able to enjoy the much lauded story I so desperately want to witness. However, it’s far more likely I’ll just get an MMO loving friend to play the game for me and allow me to watch the story while I play Mario Kart DS during the battle sequences.