“Or I knew I would love it after I saw the the first trailer”

Steam , PC

Some of you might have caught me ranting about its amazing soundtrack on twitter, seriously go and have a listen, you won’t be disappointed.

Hitboxteam, where have you been my whole life? After completing Super Meat Boy almost obsessively while enjoying it throughout I thought to myself that few games would match that delicate balance between being tough-as-nails but also super rewarding as you progressed, giving you that addictive incentive to keep on trying like the one Super Meat boy pretty much nailed (fuck you I want to be the guy stage). Well I was wrong. Presenting Dustforce, in which your task is to sweep one of 4 distinct and environments (forest,city,castle,laboratorium) clean from all of that icky dust(or leaves / goo depending on your location). This is however more tricky than it seems as the filth (as always) manages to get to the most hard to reach places (for example the freaking rampart of a castle) and it’s you job as one of four unique and beautifully animated and highly acrobatic cleaners to make it go away.



To achieve this wonderful dust-butt-kicking you have to maneuver increasingly bizarre and difficult 2D-levels as you do with your arrow-keys. Z makes your character jump and X, C is for your light and heavy attacks and CTR makes your character do a horizontal or vertical dash (or just use your own custom controls). As you dust your way through levels you will find filth infested objects (the leaf covered bear is adorable!) that you have to dispatch and when enough ass whopping and dusting has occurred your dust-meter will reach its peak and you’re allowed to perform a super attack (by pressing light and heavy attack at the same time) clearing a whole room worth of dust and any baddies unfortunate enough to be in the area, this dust-kicking is presented to you in stylish slow-motion fashion which never fails to satisfy. In the earlier levels this super-technique is mostly reserved for a stylish ending to the level but in harder levels knowing when and how to use your super attack becomes essential for seeing it the end of the level as killing enemies in mid air recharges your jump/dash ability, making those impossible jumps possible. The controls handle very fluently and once you get a hang of them and you start to you figure out the levels and how the developers intended you to move trough them it’s pure bliss to try to beat that super-hard level or shave off seconds from your previous best-time.

While the level design remains top notch throughout the games levels I found myself at a sudden stop as the difficulty-level skyrocketed when I attempted the harder levels and unlocking new levels previously required me to beat a level with 100% of the dust removed and without losing my combo-meter that starts ticking down when you haven’t been attacking or sweeping anything in a little while. This was a major problem. Thankfully this has been addressed in a recent update making so that if you improve on old completed or just make it through a harder one ( thank god for checkpoints) a meter fills up granting you a key if filled so that you can potentially unlock every level without being a ninja. Seriously, some of the later levels had me beat even before I reached the first checkpoint.

Thankfully the game shows leader-boards of the top players so if you ever find yourself stuck you can always look at the pro’s how they traverse the level, don’t beat yourself up if you can’t measure up though , the guys topping the charts are insane!



Lastly I wanted to write a little something about the presentation which is pretty damn good; the characters are all fluidly animated and varied (watching gramps as he uses his vacuum to glide on ceilings while spinning around never gets old). The palette of most levels isn’t vibrant instead it’s pretty brown and dark which kind of works seeing as your goal in the game is to clean up a filthy world, to nitpick the foreground could have been more distinguished as it can be hard to make out what’s a wall or what’s in the background at times. The soundtrack is nothing short of stellar and managed to capture my imagination like few soundtracks has done before it, like the game's presentation it focuses more on atmosphere and manages to excellently portrait say the desolation and sadness of a abandoned castle as the moon shines in. Yet it still packs some of that NES era catchiness with songs like (Cider time) cheering you on as you (hopefully) blaze trough the levels , the first time I saw the teaser trailer for the game with that song in it I knew that I would ejaculate all over this soundtrack. To make things even more insane he mentions that this is his first completed musical project, seriously give this guy some cred!

Enough masturbation let’s wrap this up!

With the newly added level editor and a website for the community to share and rate player made levels (some stellar and super-imaginative ones have already been popping up!) and a patch fixing my only complaints about the game it’s hard not to give Dustforce my highest regards, if you love challenging yourself and feeling like a ninja Dustforce will not disappoint.

This was a list about embarrassing things right?

1. I have an evil twin brother. Or was it the other way?



2. I have the strangest humor of anybody I know. What happens when two twins get raised on strange 90’s cartoons like the ones on Nicolodeon and Cartoon Network? Weird shit I tell you, we even forced our Mom to teach us English so that we could understand what the hell the Scooby Doo gang was talking about. We drew bizarre figures and laughed as we added even more strange features to them and we wouldn’t stop until we were laughing so hard that tears were running down our cheeks. That bizarre humor made its mark and I find that borderline insane youtube poops and Japanese humor animes series like Pani Poni dash does a great job tapping into that strange part of my brain, just watch it will you?

3. I’m gay. Jup… It has caused me quite a lot of grief and because of it I was severely depressed for a year or so when I finally told my friends and family about it. But I’m mostly over it by now, it feels god man! I’m yet to engage in a relationship but if my Skyrim marriage is any indication of my relationship skills I’m on the right side of things. Guess whose side of the altar consisted of two hobos I met just before the wedding while the other side consisted of a full Orcish tribe. That’s how you do relationships right?



4. I really love video game music, to the point that when me and my friend gets too excited and I push him perhaps too far we will overtake the sound system at parties and play shit like Batman stage 1 and other video game music and jump around like maniacs. I just really enjoy all kinds of music in general too , I’ve been frequently composing shitty videogame music for 2 years or something now because that’s how much I appreciate it, and being able to one day create my own is a dream I have.

5. I forced my grandmother to play games like Blastermaster , Ghost and goblins and A link to the past over and over again when I was really young, even though some of them where really hard , we did finish Simons Quest and I have no clue how. Me and my brother asked her because we where deathly afraid of most of the games, and who in their right mind wouldn’t be after listening to Blaster Master stage 4? But nevertheless or because of that we still found games to be endlessly fascinating.

6. I have a strange affinity for horror movies and games, so much that I wrote an essay about how scared I was when I played Metroid prime for the first time when I got to the lab part where everything gets dark and metroids and space pirates come chasing after you. I seriously had to pause the game and tell myself that it was only a game. The same thing happened in almost all of the Silent hill games, I was like: Ok, take it easy, you can do this, you can continue playing. Haven’t gotten to finishing up amnesia because that game is borderline too scary for me, but I do love a good horror game!



7. I cried publically at a toy store when I was about 14 because they were out of Sonic Adventure games when we bought our Dreamcast, I got Toy commander instead, it was pretty rad. Anyways I was a pretty sad kid and I was suffering from anorexia because people bullied me because of my weight, I’m healthy now though, videogames helped me cope with lots of things. Oh, I was also upset as hell that Christmas when we forgot to bring the N64 when I knew we were getting Smash brothers which I was excited as hell for. Ah, the memories!

8. I was probably the craziest Poké-maniac at my school, at one of my birthdays I got Pokémon Snap and invited all of my friends, it was amazing! Now I have drawers of Pikachu trading cards lying around somewhere, probably crying from being abused. I once entered a Pokémon trading card tournament but all the other participants where way older than me and richer so I lost. At least I got a Pokémon cap. Well that would have been be nice if I didn’t look like a moron when wearing a cap, remember Dale with Junpei’s hat? That’s how stupid I look with a cap on.

9. I once walked to school with only underwear under my overalls making for an awkward scene as I undressed at school. I was 8 or something, I ran home the whole way (we lived next to the independent and later weirdly Christian school I attended).



10. Did you know that my nickname translates to "the keg" in English which has absolutely nothing to do with any part of my physique or personality , weird right?

Well enough self deprivation , hope you enjoyed it! I sure did reading your posts!

Hello peeps, what’s up? (Is that how you behave? I wouldn’t know)

In the good news I’ve finally found my mortal enemy, this guy. If you are a regular BF3 player mortar enemy could also work as a fitting replacement word seeing as they are equally evil. People need an imaginary treat to live their life the fullest, no?

In other delusions that's partially influenced by all the talk about locations I’ve been thinking about buying a house at Float islands, you know the area before Castle Lololo (that game was way before memes!) in kirby’s dreamland for the Gameboy. The area is gorgeous and the soothing music is spot on, -- ahh , the refreshing sound of waves rolling in -- Even a spastic man like me could get a tan in a place like that! Even though I would most likely call in sick for the beach-cave exploring I could just pay a visit to Castle Lololo , I hear that’s a great neighborhood. God, I can’t get enough of the waves of nostalgia and bliss the music of videogames channel is providing me with. Also, when I first got the game as a kid (which I replayed a billion times) I though the manual told about Kirby being a bird or something, lovely weirdness! Whoa, the ending music just started playing, ENJOY IT , HARD!*gets all wet in my eyes*



Those composers really knew how to rock that squarewave lead on the gameboy , no wonder chiptune artists use that divine gameboy soundchip.

In other musical news, Koholint island , right? That’s a weird place, playing music for fish? Pft..I do however find it highly believable that Link has a really strange subconscious after everything he has been trough, people walking backwards, going to sleep in a dream? I call Inception before it even was thought of! I remember being so scared when thinking about that dreambed and everything it made me experience. Also, the shopkeeper,the horrors! I promise, show this to a kid and he shall never think of stealing again!



Another thing worth mentioning is how the game tells you that you’re happy when you receive a lot of rupees. It delivers the same message in a Link to the past where the huge fairy tells you that money makes you happy and if I remember right that’s also the message in Skyward sword. I love dreaming up scenarios where this is Myamoto’s only intended message with his Zelda games. It’s just that he can’t make it too obvious, that cheeky bastard! After all, the internet proves me right!. I guess Link’s awakening also was the first Zelda game to include the popular fishing minigame but I might be wrong on that one.
I remember beating it as a kid, the only problem being that the game was in German, which I barely could read. That is a huge problem seeing as there are loads of clues on what to do told to you, in German. Somehow I beat it though, screw you Zelda, I’ve got the power of finding the right way trough elimination, and as I kid I don’t care about time, muahahaha! * No Mom , of course I’m sleeping! Wink, wink*



I guess a editor here posted about the Link’s awakening remix album , or? Anyway, it’s pretty cool, atmospheric and tries it hardest to convey the feeling of a dream which it does pretty darn well! My favorite track as it also is in the original soundtrack is the masterful re-arranging of the Zelda theme that is Tal tal mountains (note : when I was a kid I lived in a area that can be translated to Tal mountain! Also super Mario 64! Remember? Tal tal mountain?)The slightly melancholic Koholint Island track ranks just behind it, and let me tell you, it will make you go *HNNNG* as the familiar melody is sparely used but when it is , oh boy.. It’s used right! So do yourself a favor and feast on this lovely collection of music you know and love.

Also, I never remembered the first command and conquer having this funky music, just, j..j..j..ust, just do it .. up?

Well this was on the short side but short isn't always a bad thing , right? I also wanted to tell you that I'm working on graphics and sound for a game I'm making with a classmate right now. It's going to take a while before we can actually show you guys something because of the initial learning curve that comes with using a new program, getting all the settings right and stuff, but I'm finding it extremely fun to work on it nevertheless. My little baby is starting to move and look like something that isn't shit, and I'm so happy because of it! We are currently working with Construct 2 , check it out, it fairly easy to use and the amazing Konjak is using the previous (classic) version of it to make the Iconclasts which brings endless amounts of comfort to me , because if he can make such a beautiful looking, sounding and what looks like amazingly fun game with Construct, I'll try it too! Also the guy behind Minitroid also used Construct classic, amazing!

Take care and stuff, I love reading all of your blogs in the morning, I don't know what else that could bring me up from bed that effectively! -- Ahh, go away shower-hose , I hate showering in the morning! --

Weekend after weekend watching and listening to my friend and my brothers agonized screaming, hair pulling and teeth grinding it’s finally my turn to prove my worth. And with that though i grab my semi-broken PS3 controller (the left analog stick is iffy as hell, works wonders on those narrow beams!), wipe off my pre-sweat from my forehead as I fully submit myself to this marathon of agony, bliss, emasculation. Let’s play Dark Souls, it’s the funnest game on the block!

But this time I’m not alone, I’ve got my science loving ateist PC gamer friend with me too, he only plays console at my place and I was curious how he would react to a game this , uh , let’s go with niche.

It’s more than delightful to see that there are some people in Dark Souls community that seem to be fond of the act of giving. Watch my friends face twisting in horror as me and my brother starts screaming that he has been invaded by an evil phantom that is trying to steal his humanity and souls (note that he is still trying to comprehend how the game is played). Then something strange happens the dark shadow starts dancing and making all kind of gestures and in an instant the once intimidating shouts now slowly turn into encouragements - He’s dropping stuff, pick them up! Hurry before they disappear!


Is it wrong to want to have sex with the bosses because of reasons part vengence and part attraction?

And what do we have here? Oh , Lord Gwyn’s great sword + 5 , an occult club + 5 , a heap of rare minerals, the list goes on. Needless to say my friends mind was blown,fucked then in total ecstasy, all in a matter of minutes. It has been relatively smooth sailing since then, I mean obviously we have died a lot but with a complete lexicon that’s eager to share most of the time ( my brother and his friend ) coupled with my relatively experienced understanding of Demon Souls and my glimpses of when they played it have turned Dark Souls to a really enjoyable experience. Oh yeah, about that lexicon thing, it works wonders when they aren’t deliberately trying to lure us off cliffs, bastards.

But what this random gesture of kindness have robbed me of in challenge it has made up for in envy and hate. It’s a guilty pleasure to watch the people around me cringe as I smash that boss they spent hours beating on my first try. And to seal the deal I sometimes blurt stuff like - What , this creature didn’t die by one swing, is this game broken or something? Oh they try to hide it so well but I can see into their souls how it hurts them, ha! But I don’t feel robbed of the experience in any way, I had my fair share of challenges in Demon Souls and I’m still as vulnerable as ever as I run around with my skimpy waist cloth. I seriously look like Conan the barbarian with my great-sword resting on my shoulder, and I don’t even have armor to rest it on , just my bare shoulders , how bad ass is that?

So that’s it , grab a friend buy the freaking game, trow your ps3 or xbox over your shoulder or force him to then help each other or the opposite on your way towards glory!

Also here’s a poem I wrote about something that happened to me recently in game.

Oh curious little moth how beautiful your wings are, please don’t impale me with your teal laser beams. Time passes by as me and my friend wait, oh where art thou little moth? Even more time passes and my friend tells me goodbye, I wait upon the castle wall as you continue to ignore me. Oh little moth what is it with the far away mountains that enthuses you so? Oh how I wish you would come back....


Troll in central park is always relevant!

When the game’s bosses get so freaking self aware that they figure out that glitching away and forcing me to take my own life is smarter than getting killed I get creative.

Oh god, I’m so excited to write, my recent gaming experiences have been wonderful and I’ve reminisced about some great ones in the past too. Let’s see here...

Persona 3 ----



I freaking love this game, or most of it at least. Beating up supernatural monsters by evoking imaginative friends who fight for you while simulating the school-life of Japanese peoples that in some cases resemble American Saturday morning cartoon characters , yes ! I’ve been playing it for the last two years though, mainly because I find it extremely repetitive and tedious to go dungeon crawling in the game, I like it the first 10-20 mins then it begins to feel like a chore, and the worst part is that I’m far too much of a coward and much to obsessive to just play the damn game as a dating-sim, what if I am to weak to face the next boss?

Anyways I’m 130 hours in and I’m finally beginning to reach the end, at least of the main scenario, there’s a extra one called the answer in the FES special edition, I wonder how long that one is? I’m loving the characters that at first seemed highly archetypical but later all evolved to something way more complicated, you know , just like in real life. Unlike real life Persona 3 gives me the opportunity to live the Japanese dream of being surrounded by robot women , helping little kids with parenting issues ( although thanks to podtoid I feel dirty for doing it now ) and fighting freaky monsters with a canine friend that cuts his opponents with a knife! WITH HIS JAWS! Now that’s what I call entertainment!

The game still looks good even today thanks to the amazing artstyle witch pervades every little detail of the game ,even the menus look sleek and stylish! One of my complaints is the sometimes unfair difficulty level where as sometimes if you dabble and the enemy get's the first strike you're basically finished. And if you're unlucky 30 minutes of grinding will be gone, and it has happened more than once for me throughout my play-trough. And add to it that your companions doesn't always carry themselves that well in combat, sure you can issue commands but that is quite the hassle and is generally only needed during harder fights and you got yourself a pretty annoying game at times, luckily it's the minority of the time. Sometimes I forget that they are only mere computer programs and I go screaming - Junpei you stupid bastard , use fire spells , THEY ARE WEAK AGAINST IT! It's your freaking specialty! Don't hit them with your stupid sword! *sigh* Anyways!

So in an effort to finally get trough things I've been just plowing trough the last parts as fast as I can, I've been going to the arcade every night, snoozing at school and neglecting all my monster-slaying even though my friends tell me that I probably should be training for what I think is the final battle, I could be wrong though since the game is made in Japan and it's been telling me that it's the last boss for quite some bosses now. I wonder if I'll make it?

I can’t mention Persona and not mention the catchy as hell soundtrack, almost all songs in the game are memorable ! I used to start up the game just so I could listen to the theme while eating break-feast. There is also this song, what’s with the French rambling in the middle of it all? I don’t have a clue but I’m loving it! The original intro song is pretty epic too! And the fight music almost never wears out it’s welcome! And considering that I’ve been fighting for at least 30 hours that’s a feat! The Tartarus theme also deserves some attention for it's funkiness!

Also Japanese Thor is marvelous! Why does he wear freaking v-shorts and tattoos on his thighs? I don’t know but I love it.




Some of this stuff is so out there, I mean just look at this incubus guy above to the right! But since the women get to be sexualized then I guess it’s only fair to do it to the men as well , I’m not complaining at all! And the PSP version let's you choose if you want to play as a girl or boy, I guess the persona team is a pretty aware bunch huh? I'm digging the out there "loosely based on mythology" art, most of them really look like the concept art they are based on. Also , I just managed to summon Satan, who's the man now dawg?

Forbidden Siren 2

I got this a while ago from one of those super cheap boxes in those - we sell everything stores , you’ve got them in the US right? I felt like I had to try it out because I adore PS2 era survival horror games and I’ve heard some moderately good things about it , I think Stevil might have said something good about them or something. I haven't played very much of it but this is what I think of it as of now!

The first thing I noticed was the creepy cutscenes, just look at these things! I think they superimposed real faces onto computer generated textures and sometimes it makes for some horrifyingly comical and at times just genuinely scary moments.

The game takes place on a cursed island of sorts and you get to control a bunch of people, most with unique abilities throughout a fixed time-frame constantly going back and forth between people and different places in time to find out what the hell is going on. It's like the TV series 24 but instead of going in a linear fashion from hour 1 to 24 ( or how it works) this game is scrambling the whole story.



The game seems like it had noble and ambitious intents but most of it’s execution is either hit or miss, the game controls very survival horror like , kind of like Silent Hill 4 : The room. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m playing it with a ps3 controller or what but the first person aiming sensitivity is insanely high, I was forced to spray two magazines on a zombie just to hit him to complete the tutorial. Then there’s the interesting mechanic that is called sight-jack ( not to be confused with the horrible mind-jack game ). It allows you to see trough the eyes of nearby enemies and makes for some tense moments but the white noise sound it makes when searching for an an enemies vision is kind pretty high pitched and overly annoying , high and annoying doesn’t make it scarier , just more painful to execute, which will eventually get to you as the game seems intent at using it pretty often.

I did however get to one interesting scenario where you got to control a guy with very bad eye-sigh, and to get around you sight jacked his dog that followed him around to see better. But when I later discovered that all of this sneaking and sight-jacking wasn’t really necessary because I could just outrun the zombies and sprint to the exit like some kind of suicidal bat it felt kind of unnecessary. I mean why bother putting effort into building this elaborate maze and emphasising on stealth when players can just sprint trough it? Didn’t they test this thing? I hope it get's better later on!

Another daunting thing is the overly complicated menus, I mean I’m all for the depth that comes with context sensitive moves and a plethora of maneuvers but here it’s pretty poorly executed so you’ll constantly be re-visiting the guides on how to use all of your abilities and what combination of buttons did what. It’s pretty strange really , it’s like it was intended for a keyboard and mouse setup with all of it’s functions and stuff. I do however enjoy the intent of more options and advanced techniques but not when I have to go back and read tutorials because they don’t make sense.

I will probably finish it just because it entertains me in the “ what is going on!? what the hell is that?! Why is that kid running around with baseball-bat that looks like a penis” kind of sense, and like I said , I’m a sucker for horror games. So keep that in mind if you happen to find this weird gem, but then again it will probably cost close to nothing so pick it up and enjoy it’s convoluted controls and strangeness!

Also -- Super Metroid for the genesis * orgasm *

Chiptunes , you’ve got to love em right? The blooping and bleeping, to me it’s just so infectious and appealing to me. Maybe it’s because I’ve played games and listened to their chiming since I was a toddler or because of some other obscure reason, maybe my grandma made me listen to them in my sleep? Maybe they are associated with the happiness that is often associated with being a child? Who knows? I just know that I do and It was the reason why I started making my own chiptune influenced music 2 years ago, which has since both brought me loads of joy and also further made me appreciate the people who devote their time make these things.

But while my musical experiences could amount to a potentially entertaining story this blog is devoted to the people I look up to and the bands and beat creators that inspire me every day.


J. Arthur Keenes Band

This is a recent one but probably one of my all-time favorites, question , what happens when you take ingenious pop-esque distinctly chiptuni’sh melodies, then add some seriously mopey and remorseful vocals on that? Heaven happens, or at least something glorious and very reminiscent of the wondrous paradise discibed in that dusty old tome. Sure you could just take the instruments and it would be superb as it is but with the lovely and at times sentimental lyrics it becomes something more, something unlike anything I've heard before. I mean when was the last time you heard the sentence - You fall short but take so long, and ten tethers pull with every motion , in a pop song? Or , uh, that at least what I think he saying , the choice of word is most of the time very refreshing!

And for the purists there is also some some songs without vocals like the upbeat Cluck or the amazingly paced Expelling Bee. Seriously that song never slows down, it just keeps going and going, it’s my personal pick from their “new” album computer savvy. Get it over at 8bitpeoples here. But the victory is by inches since every track on the album is golden in some way! The album desciption covers it pretty well , “ Computer Savvy offers a hazy blend of the archaic sounds you know and love with as many other sounds as could fit.”

I couldn’t recommend it more and I would love it if somebody was as taken as I first was when I first heard it. I seriously listen trough it once a day as I ride my bike to school , and every time I experience pain, happiness, loss, remorse , power and a whole lot of other powerful emotions all while going trough the best game ever made in my head. Gosh, when I grow up I want to be like those guys! Anyways , I could go on forever why I love these guys so let’s move on shall we?



I guess everyone has heard the fantastic scott Pilgrim vs the world Anamanaguchi album by now, or? I still have it on my playlist and was my previous listen trough once a day album untill J. Arthur Keenes Band came along, since this is a given I’ll not linger on about it , just listen to it and bathe in it’s greatness will you?

Another question , what’s better than Weezer album? An 8 bit Weezer remix album offcourse! Listen until your ears bleed as your favorite chiptune artists such as Anamanaguchi , BItshifter and a whole bunch of other talanted folks cover your favorite Weezer songs. Brilliant! How about Island in the sun with a Castlevania-like intro?. Or the amazingly talented Bit shifters take on The world has turned and left me here. What ?! That’s been my ring-tone signal for a year and every time I hear it I think somebody calls me ? No? Testament of glory I say!

Pop or rock not your thing? No worries I’ve got you covered! How about some rap with your social commentary? Mr spastic has loads of great tunes but the insanely catchy beats coupled with some rhymes just does it for me every time, check out the Puppeteer if you’re one of those rebbelious types , for us craving something more nightmarish there also the “Oh god I would love to play this level just for the theme” song , Daymare I always imagine this in a Castlevania game. Oh , the glory!



If you’re more of a growling metalhead with a sense of humour you’ll love Rainbowdragoneyes. Besides from sporting a silly name they make some superb music with a large portion of humour, just listen to Creature of deception and you’ll know what I mean! Here’s part of the chorus of the song!


IF ITS IN MY GREATER INTEREST
YOU MAY SUMMON ME TO FIGHT
BUT AS SOON AS I SAVE YOUR ASS FROM YOUR DOOM
WE FUCK ALL NIGHT

Then there's a song about cloning somebody and making them watch as you stab them in the crotch, over and over again, I don't really know , just listen will you?

So that’s a couple of artists and songs I’ve been listening to lately , most of them gathered from the 8bitpeoples amazing discography pages, which all can be downloaded for FREE!

So do you have any awesome chiptun’ish music to share with me?