A quick video review for the Xbox 360 version of Tropico 3. Hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think! All constructive criticism is much appreciated.

Hey all you sexy readers! Looking for a good PSP Mini game to slake your platforming lust? How about “Monsters (Probably) Stole My Princess”? Is it fun enough to earn that $5 that has been burning a hole in your pocket? I guess you will just have to watch the video below and find out! COMMENT!

Enjoy! Please comment if you can! Thanks!

Well…here it is. I’m ready for your white hot nerd rage! BRING IT! I stumbled through the script in a few places and I apologize for that. I promise it wont be as bad in the future. I was just ready to get this review done already!

I know the review ran WAY too long, but I had a lot to say! I actually had to edit the piss out of it to get it as short as it is. Removed complaints like the game throwing WAY too many terms at the player at the start of the game, the unimaginative characters, horrible camera, unbalanced battles, etc.

I do not know why, but I decided to use a "stars" rating system. Don't worry, that is going out the window with this review.

On the good side of the things I did say that the story was unique…did not mention that it makes little to no sense is is stuck WAY up it’s own ass…but it was unique.

Please comment! If you agree or disagree, I’d love to hear your comments either way! Call me names! I don’t care!

Oh! And as always; all resources uses in the production of this video belong to their relative copyright holders and are used in a strictly parody, critical and educational manner. BOOM!

These days the game industry is overrun with women all too willing to jiggle their naughty bits for your gaming dollar. While there is a place for this kind of thing, gamers really should not let this natural urge determine what games they would choose over another. I’ve been thinking about it and it seems that any time there is a female character in a game’s story, the fact that they are female tends to greatly define who they are.

Many hardcore gamers say they are sick and tired of the same old cliché characters and want something new. But when a game like Beyond Good & Evil with its practical lead Jade comes along, they would rather spend their money on games Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volleyball. That’s right! Both games being released in 2003, gamers spent more considerably more money on the gimmick title DOA: EBV then they did a legitimately compelling and interested game like Beyond Good & Evil.



Too many times unique game heroines do not get their due respect. Even if in a successful game, they can often be overlooked. A perfect example is Hammer from Fable 2. Sure she did not exactly have a huge billing in the game but she was something that is few and far between in the game industry. She was a strong, independent woman with a less than perfect figure. Other than Hammer there is the rare occasion where a less than attractive female is cast into a video game. But then they are almost always used for comic relief or to signify ignorance.



But all hope is not lost. There can be a female character in games that earns the respect of gamers AND does not have to drop her pants when the player wants them to. I am of course talking about Alyx Vance from Half-life. Alyx managed to come across as a real character while not letting her sex define who she is. Perhaps this can be attributed just as much to the way other characters in the game act towards her as much as it does her own actions. A female character can act serious and be all business, but that behavior is pointless if all the other characters are still treating her like a sex object.



How do you feel about the topic? Do you feel a female character has to go to great lengths to NOT be attractive in order to be taken seriously? Taking Alyx out of the equation certainly seems to make that the case. Should us gamers just rub one out before we go game shopping? Comment!

Holes in my argument: I realize that I bitch about hardcore gamers not supporting the unique titles that come to market, but fail to recognize that “hardcore” gamers actually make up a fairly small percentage of the overall gaming populous.

Some argue that the only reason Alyx Vance comes across as a strong female character is because there is not a strong vocal male player character. Although I like the character of Gordon Freeman, I cannot argue with someone who hates a silent protagonist.

Yes. During the writing of this article I assume that the majority of readers are male. Sorry ladies.

When scrounging around the game industry for a profession, I quickly realized that I cannot be the "best" at any of them. No matter what I did, who I befriended or how hard I worked there would be someone else that was better. I realize this is a very pretentious (and a far stretch) approach for this month’s assignment…but it was either this or how much I rock at masturbating.



Competitive Gaming:
I am a HUGE fan of the Smash Brothers series. So naturally I decided to challenge my skills. So I decided to attend my first Smash tournament. I was quickly found myself feasting on the butthole end of a SHFFLing Marth. I took my broken Ganondorf home and joined an online community of professional smash players. Over the next six months I tinkered with, relearned and mastered my newly acquired skills. I did not think that I was going to win, I KNEW I was going to win. Again, I traveled half way across the state to battle it out in the realm of professional gaming. I won! Next it was time to short hop spike my way through the state tournament. I finished 12th. It was at that crushing moment that I knew I was NEVER going to be the Smash Bros King of the world. But for some odd reason I still play smash brothers religiously. I still look up to those professionals and one day dream of being better than them…




Game Development:
With my excessive passion for the game industry, it was only natural that I would want to pursue a career in developing them. So I started like so many industry designers do, through testing. Over the nearly four years I spent in the Quality Assurance department of a major development studio, I learned so much about the in’s and out’s of game development that I deemed it naive that I ever thought I could be on the same level as Miyamoto or Molyneux . But I continued to build my skills hoping that one day receive my shot. After spending even more time in the development field I realized that even if I one day become a great designer, I will never surpass the greats of yesteryear. No matter what I create, it will have been on their shoulders. It is them that I must credit for the great state of the industry as we know it.




Game Journalism:
I now am trying to break into the overcrowded video game journalist field. I sadly do not have a college degree or even a strong writing background. Disregarding that still here I sit attempting to pieces words together to form a cohesive blog entry. Even if I do manage to become a blogger for a video game site, will I ever live up to those who precede me? Stephen L Kent and others have blazed the path that I would love to even step foot on. This is an exciting new side of the industry that I have loved all my life. Very scary, intimidating and infuriating but oh so exciting.



Why I keep going:
I think Jacques Lacan was onto something. No matter how many times I am beaten down, I will continue to come back. No matter what the insurmountable odds, I will always climb the mountain. These lofty goals are exactly what makes life worth living. Only in the pursuit of a dream will you find happiness. Obtaining the dream is when that happiness will begin to fade. So I will continue to refine my Smash Brothers game, improve my design and write this blog. Do I hope to achieve my goals? Of course! Will I ever reach them? Damned if I know. All I know is that in order to be truly happy, I must chase them.

And I’m awesome at fapping.